'Arts On Prescription Bring Festive Cheer!'

I had a swell time this morning at the Christmas get-together organised by 'Arts On Prescription' in Warrior Square! If you are on your own and are feeling lonely are unemployed and a little lost or suffering with mental heath, anxiety or depression then you should look into joining some of the brilliant 'arty' courses put on by Arts On Prescription next year!

2019 has not been 'all sunshine and roses' for me and I have felt quite down and hopeless at times. Now, I know from experience that when I feel that way it is time to DO SOMETHING different to give my life a fresh perspective. With that in mind I decided to look online to see if I might find anything 'going on' in my local area that might suit me? It wasn't long before I found the Arts On Prescription website www.artsonprescription.org and saw that there was a free 'Creative Writing' session coming up shortly! Well, as writing is 'right up my street' I thought that such a session would be a good way of 'testing the water' in order to see if the whole set up was 'my scene'.

As the old saying goes, 'nothing ventured, nothing gained' and after contacting, Tara Ready - the lady who runs the sessions it wasn't long before I had booked my place on the writing session and had it to look forward to! When you are lonely you need 'something to look forward to' and so its always a good idea to 'line a few things up on the calendar' to keep you going.

Well, the time eventually came for the day of the session and so I went along to see how it went? Tara is lovely, warm, friendly and welcoming and as the session (usually 2 hours long) wore on I began to feel at home and started to get talking to some of the other people there. One really nice chap who is known by the group as 'Jeff' let me into the secret that he is really SANTA and me being a Christmas nut we had a lovely conversation swapping stories about our adventures at Christmas time! I liked 'Jeff' so much in fact that I gave him a complimentary copy of my 'Timeless' CD and told him to 'have a listen to 'The Toy Museum' as being Santa I thought he'd appreciate it.

Well, I'm glad to say that 'Jeff' did have a listen to my album. Better still he told me today that he really liked it! He also proved that he really IS Santa - turning up (as you can see here) in full robes and boots! I happened to go as an Elf 'for a bit of jolly' and one of the ladies present ( THANK YOU, Mandy!) thought we looked like a team and took the photo you see here! Santa was in his element throughout the morning telling us all a few festive tales and dishing out presents! I helped him with that to make sure that everyone present got something and both of us joined in with the carol singing  as well - though I think both Santa and I prefer the sound of other voices at this time of year. It's kind of nice to listen to other people singing Christmas carols etc because that way you get a real sense of belonging and feel for a short time at least that you are all 'singing from the same hymn sheet' and celebrating the same thing for once!

Such 'togetherness' is sadly in VERY short reply these days and so Christmas needs to play its part ever more to calm the world down a bit and get us all thinking of others and not just our own needs and wants...

If you are interested in finding our more about Arts On Prescription you can either contact Tara through the website or see your GP and ask to be referred. You don't have to be 'ill' and you can do what I have done and refer yourself so there is no pressure! Go on! Give it a try! No good staring at four walls - I know! (lol)

'MERRY CHRISTMAS! And An Update On 'Operation Spread Christmas Spirit'

Here we are again folks! As Noddy Holder would scream ...It's Christmasssssssss!!! HA HA HA

Well, it may not be the dream Christmas Day outside (grey, wet, miserable) and there may not be a hint of a snow flake but last night I had a rollicking lot of fun delivering 46 'Santa cards' and two 'Secret Santa' prezzie drops!

Oh yes! I was out for a good couple of hours under the cover of darkness 'delivering' cards to the houses of people I've never met. Why? Well, when people go out of their way to put on a lovely, festive light display or put a beautiful and welcoming looking Christmas Tree in their living room window I think its nice when someone also makes the effort to let them know that they have seen and ENJOYED their efforts! It really does make my Christmas special when I walk along the streets and see all of the funny displays, 'Santa stop here' signs and homes 'glowing' with festivity each year. I can often imagine the wonderful family get-togethers and meals that will ensue and almost get a charge to my 'human battery' when I think of how so many people are going to be happy in that environment over the next few days.

I know that not all 'get-togethers' or parties are happy ones and not all families get along well over the festive period but when, like me, you do not have a family of your own, do not own your own house, do not have a job or a proper place in society it is heart warming to see that at least in this world there ARE some who HAVE managed to achieve those things. I may be a lot of things (and I am certainly an awkward git) but I have never 'done jealousy' preferring instead to choose to be HAPPY for that person or persons. Things are never always what they seem, however, and those I look at who appear to have everything often do not or are unhappy. Well, I like to make sure that my actions at least put a smile on faces at this time of the year and 'creeping about at night trying to deliver cards allegedly from Santa himself' is my way of doing that!

I tell you what was SUCH fun the other night. Oh my GOODNESS! Today's letterboxes are C_R_A_P! (HA HA) How a lovely house worth zillions and zillions can have all the best mod cons and a swanky driveway and then have a really AWFUL letterbox is beyond me! Most of the letter boxes I discovered last night were REALLY hard to get letters through! No wonder most of people's mail arrives bent or damaged - you try being a Postman and see how you get on! (HA HA)

Then of course there are the other 'hazards' like being torn to shreds by Dogs or putting the letter through the box using your hand and not being able to free your hand again! When you are DESPERATELY trying to deliver to a house without making a sound or attracting any attention its NOT GOOD when the pesky security light comes on, followed by a dog biting your hand as you try to put the card in a SQUEAKY and ULTRA STIFF letterbox! By the time you as 'Santa' have managed to deliver your message of good will the Police are on the way and there is a searchlight and the sound of a S.W.A.T. team jumping out of a van ringing in your ears! Trying to tell the secret services that there is only a 'box of fruit jellies' in the box while you are flat on the ground with your hands behind your back is REALLY not in the festive spirit!!!

It was FUN though last night 'sculking about' in the shadows of people's homes! I felt like a right villain even though all I was trying to do was 'deliver a smile and some happiness'. At one house I was just about to sneak up the drive when I saw a man get out of the car parked in it!!! EEKK!!!
I nearly did a 'Jim Carrey' and dived into the nearest hedge but AMAZINGLY he didn't see me! After he went into the house, I carefully slid open the door and got into the porch. I had a bottle of wine dressed up to look like a Christmas cracker and a card for him (I felt his house was the best effort of all) and so I carefully laid it at the foot of one of the decorations he had put outside his front door!
There was a notice telling me to smile as I was on CCTV but I just had to trust in the magical fairy dust of good will I had sprinkled that I would not get rumbled!! HA HA

Mind you, if there is such an offense as 'delivering more Christmas spirit than is allowed' or 'being nice without a license' I will be the happiest man in court in January!!

All in all I dropped 46 Santa cards on doormats ready for discovery this morning in peoples homes and left another home a box of fruit jellies and a card on their doorstep. I also had a LONNNNGGG chat with a friendly fellow by the name of Andy who just happened to be passing. We talked a lot about Christmas, God, Religion and faith and shared some interesting views and ideas. Was it fate that I should run into Andy (a Christian) doing 'Santa's work' on Christmas Eve? Well, I guess you could see it that way!!!

Have a LOVELY day today people and keep rockin'!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

'Merry Christmas!'

Well, todays the day! I hope you all have something fabulous lined up to make the day a memorable one. My Christmas is not going to be a spectacular event this year but at least I am not flooded out like a lot of poor souls and spending quality time with loved ones is never time wasted...

Funnily enough though I have been thinking about the years I spent Christmas on holiday the last day or two. Its always refreshing to travel and see a bit of the world but as my Christmas holiday to Kufstein in Austria proved, the grass (or snow in this case) is not always greener on the other side.

A department store in Kufstein. Typically for my luck they were closed while I was there!

I was going through a bit of a depression in 2007 and so decided that the best thing I could do was to book up a Christmas  break and head off to the land of snow and mountains. At that time I was in work at a music merchandise company called 'Masons Music Ltd' and the workload up until Christmas there was always incredible. Virtually every day would involve doing some overtime and the amount of phone calls we used to get was amazing. It was hard work and very tiring but my boss was a great bloke and was always very generous to us all at the end of it. He used to take us all out for a meal, give us extra wages AND let us take a present from the warehouse so putting in so much effort was never difficult just tiring.

Anyway, with all that work ahead of me I knew that I needed something to look forward to and so a holiday to 'Kufstein' in Austria in a 4 star hotel seemed ideal. Snow, snow, slopes, fairy lights, carols and MORE snow was I felt sure to be on the agenda and a 4 star hotel should be quite a swanky place to stay as well! To be pampered and to be forced to be jolly and make new friends seemed like the ideal remedy to my woes...

Snowless Kufstein - Nice lights though!

As ever, however, things did not quite go to plan! Sure, Austria had all the snow anyone could want but Kufstein itself was almost snow free. My idea of soft, crunchy, fluffy snow also went out of the window as an excursion to Kitzbuhel on Boxing Day proved when all I found there was a wet and quite dirty looking place where no where was open! Salzburg was lovely but it was just one day out of seven and the 4 days of traveling there and back on a coach almost killed me...

Worst of all though was my 4 star hotel. The 'luxury' I expected to find turned out so bad in fact that I made the following two videos to upload on Youtube when I got home...

Things did not start out well from the minute we arrived at the hotel. My name and the names of another couple were not on the guest list and because of that I think they and I ended up getting the 'spare rooms' usually designated for our drivers. The fact that neither of our drivers ended up staying at the hotel seems to back this up though they might not have chosen to do so  because they'd been there before!

A friend of mine always tells me that I become very funny whenever I get depressed. The upside of this story is that both of the videos above turned out to be huge hits on Youtube. Because of this I really got the bug for making films and as of now have over 240 on my Maybrick44 channel! I wouldn't want to put you off going to Austria for Christmas because it is a beautiful place but if you do go make sure you go for longer than 7 days if you are traveling by coach because for three days actually there the traveling spoils it. If you can, stay in Salzburg because it has a lot of winter charm and is full of festive atmosphere. Be VERY careful where you stay though and make sure you check out your hotel online BEFORE you book up.

I DID get my 'revenge' on the hotel staff though because I had packed a complete Father Christmas outfit into my case and came down Christmas Day dressed up in it. I went in to where they were holding the disco, took over the mic and made a few speeches/had a few jokes with the people I knew from my coach. NO ONE realised who the hell I was so it was quite hilarious really - the staff did not know whether to grab me and throw me out or not!!!

Me as Father Christmas in Kufstein, Austria 2007

This Christmas story does have a happy ending though. Aside from gaining a new interest in making films I got some great footage and pictures of Salzburg and the Von Trappe Mansion (The Sound Of Music?) which I subsequently used for the artwork of my 'In Words, In Music...Of Life, Of Death' poetry/music album. Some of the other footage I got on that holiday went into my videos for 'Its Christmas Time' and my latest festive song 'A Winters Tale' so all in all it wasn't a disaster just not the uplifting experience I hoped for at the time...

Merry Christmas! xxxx 

'December! December! & Disaster At Battle'

Santa arrives in Battle!

Well folks, its DECEMBER and now thoughts of the 25th can really start to kick into gear. I have so many festive fantasies that go through my head at this time of year you can't imagine and not all of them involve being trapped in a lift with a beautiful Mrs Santa either! HA HA

No, I may be as keen on the opposite sex and a festive version of Leslie Phillips but Christmas is about TRADITIONS and CUSTOMS and FUN and GIVING and I love all of those things! While I must confess I could use WAY more cuddles than I get most of the year it is so easy to get into a happy mood at this time of the year just by opening your eyes to the festivities around you, tapping in to your inner child and remembering that sense of wonder you had as a kid, and just TALKING TO PEOPLE.
How in the hell have we lost the art of simple communication? I had a very disappointing day in Battle yesterday because my beloved (but temperamental - like his owner) camera developed a fault and would not allow me to take a single pic or get any festive footage.

Road Closed For Christmas Claus!

I went to Battle nice and early with a mind to walk out into the countryside from there and get some lovely autumn pictures of the gold, orange, green, red and yellows that our trees and bushes are full of at this time of the year. Sadly, once up to my knees in mud, the cold seemed to get into my camera and he started playing up. Giving the camera a rest I returned to the centre of Battle and then started getting some pics and film of the decorations about the town. Suddenly, the camera packed up on me for good and an error message which said 'Card not initialized' came up on the screen. Try as hard as I might by doing the usual things (removing the batteries for a while, cleaning the card) nothing could bring the camera back to life and so I was left without a chance of capturing Santa's arrival and the subsequent spectacles!

Was I fed up! This year seems to have been somewhat ill-fated for me as far as getting the most out of Christmas goes. I had to miss my favourite Christmas Fair this year again because of a clash of date with a pre-booked writing festival in London and yesterday I missed another lot of Festive Fayres to go to Battle! Good job I'm determined to enjoy Christmas, eh!

Aah, cute!

I DID meet some really nice people yesterday. Had a long chat with two ladies in one of the shops there and both were very sympathetic. Jill even tried to help sort me out by seeking advice on the Internet from her tablet and finding me an alternative card to try. In the end though I didn't want to risk wrecking her card for her so I accepted defeat graciously. Jill did promise to send me a few pictures from the day though and it is her pictures you can see here today. THANK YOU JILL.

I also met some people at the bus stop and we all had a jolly good laugh swapping Christmas stories and talking about old films. The bus we were all waiting for was held up by the arrival of Santa and his entourage so I did at least get to see that part of the fun. On the bus home there were two really naughty kids who kept clambering about all over the place and swinging off the safety straps. When they got off everyone in the bus moaned about them at which point I piped up that I would not be visiting their chimney this year now. "It just goes to show what they say is true doesn't it, Santa knows!" I said to much merriment...

Fun for the kids.

I will try and get back to Battle before Christmas and see if I can get my camera to play ball. Having sought out more help on the Internet at home I have now re-formatted the camera and card and both seem to be working o.k. again for now. I love my camera and hate HD because it takes up so much space on your hard drive and is so unnecessary for most of us. Can't replace my little pal though as you cannot buy non HD cameras these days. Oh well, I will just have to hope that my 'repairs' will keep him with me for a few more years yet...

Off on his next stop before The North Pole!

The big tree at night.

Merry Christmas! xxx

'Christmas Hampers'

The one thing I have always longed to win or be sent for Christmas is a whacking great big Christmas hamper! I don't quite understand why I feel that way because I don't drink very much (so bottles of wine or spirits wouldn't be much use) nor do I eat a lot of the stuff that would come with the hamper but there is just something irresistibly festive about the look of a giant whicker basket stuffed to the gunnels with exotic goodies!

I think part of my perception of Christmas hampers comes from my childhood. I recall that my mum used to be an agent for Kays catalogue when I was a kid and I often used to spend ages looking through the Toy section in the run up to Christmas dreaming about what I'd like to get.  Kays used to sell Christmas hampers as well and there would always be a few pages of pics. Reading through the list of all the goodies you could expect to receive in each version of the hamper really used to get my juices flowing! With ever so Christmassy pictures of tinsel and baubles amongst the hamper contents to make them seem even more desirable I suppose I have grown up with the vision of the Christmas hamper being the ultimate gift...

God, what a dream I must be for those marketing moguls who deliberately dream up such tactics to instill in people all the stuff mentioned above!

Whatever, if I could afford to do it I would always send out a well stocked Christmas hamper to my friends and loved ones at this time of year. I have been thinking a lot lately of how nice it would be if you won the lottery and was able to act upon a lot of the things that touch you in everyday life rather than simply have to shrug your shoulders and accept reality. There are so many worthy causes each Christmas that it would make me feel good to support and having the ability to make a real difference to someones life and enjoyment of the festive season would really make me feel even more like Father Christmas! I guess some of you will think that I have a 'God complex' but I certainly wouldn't want his job! No, for me, I'm all about being Santa, all about making a difference once a year and then letting the rest of the world try to work together to adopt my friendly attitude the rest of the year round. I don't believe in preaching, I believe in teaching...Goodness! That was profound! HA HA

Finally, don't forget that Santa will be visiting Battle in East Sussex later today to turn on their Christmas lights. He and his entourage are due to arrive at 1.50pm and I hope to be there to see him! If I manage to make it expect lots of pics of the festivities here soon...

See you there! Love Tony xx

'Battle, East Sussex At Christmas'

Regular viewers of my Maybrick44 Youtube channel will already know that I am a little in love with the town of Battle in East Sussex. Not only is a place steeped in history with Battle Abbey and some very old quintessentially English buildings it is a place where both tradition and fun go hand in hand. 
The annual Battle Scarecrow Festival is always a must visit for me and the sight of Battle Abbey lit up at night by the reflection of the Christmas lights from an ENORMOUS Christmas tree in the middle of the market square is just so Christmassy it hurts!

As with a lot of things of late, the finances have been more difficult to come by for Battle and its traders to pay for the town's spectacular display of festive fun but they are are a determined lot in Battle and there is going to be plenty of Christmassy things going on there again this year.

November the 30th will see Santa pop in on his annual visit en-route to The North Pole. He is expected at about 1.50pm and his sleigh will be pulled by the Langton Loons, accompanied by the Kingfisher Band, the 1st and 2nd Battle Rainbows, the Beavers and a variety of cartoon characters. Outside on the Abbey Green there will be Candy Floss, photo opportunities, singing from local soprano, Lucy Ashton, and other attractions so it will be a fantastic afternoon!

Then at about 5pm, Santa will leave the Memorial Hall come onto the Abbey Green and switch on Battle's Christmas lights for this year! There will be fancy dress, best decorated shop window and best dressed business competitions as well. 

Various choirs, Lucy Ashton & her friends will also sing by the big Christmas tree on the Abbey Green and visitors will  encouraged to sing-a-long at 8pm as well.

It is sure to be a fabulously festive day of fun  and one I hope not to miss so why not come along and join me? If you see a middle aged bloke wearing a black cowboy hat (or brown if its wet!) with a camera in his hand that will be me. I love meeting new people so come over and say Hi!

Above is a little video I took of Battle myself a year or two ago. It doesn't quite capture the magic of the place but it will give you some idea of the layout of the place and with a bit of imagination I'm sure you will be able to envisage how the place looks full of Christmas shoppers with happy faces!

'Crazy Granny Christmas Jumpers'

I will admit that you do have to be a bit crazy to want to buy a jumper that will transform your appearance instantly into that of an elf or Saint Nicholas himself but if (like me) the spirit of Chevy Chase's 'National Lampoons' sparky character lives inside you you should!

Last year I discovered http://www.crazygrannyclothing.com/ and bought myself the red santa claus design with black belt and white cuffs for a treat. 

Feeling pretty down at facing ANOTHER Christmas out of work and with seemingly no hope of ever returning to a job I feel I could do well and enjoy I needed a pick-me-up. Well, I can tell you that while these jumpers are not cheap at £39.99 each they are great quality and are a HUGE amount of fun for their owners. 
You could not buy a better conversation starter if you tried! They make people smile as soon as they see you wearing one so people talk to you without you having to lift a finger. O.K. they are always going to bring out the 'Ebeneezer Scrooge' in some and you are going to have to suffer a few sighs from those who think you infantile but by God, if you can't let off a bit of childish steam at Christmas when can you!
I think those who know me well have now become virtually un-shockable with all the Christmas antics I have performed over the years so the effect of a new jumper from crazy granny for me this year probably won't be of much surprise but its not too late for YOU to get the jump on your colleagues for this years office party!

Getting into the Christmas spirit is often about dropping your inhibitions and being prepared to have a laugh. When you do, you will find that your infectious sense of freedom and fun is infectious and it won't be long before other people are joining in with the festive spirit YOU have created. LIfe is pretty tough and fairly grim a lot of the time at the moment so if ever there was a better time to buy a crazy granny crimbo jumper, stick a daft hat on your head and arm yourself with one of Ken Dodd's tickling sticks ( nowadays expect approx 6 months in Wandsworth for every person you creep up on and tickle to death) and go forth into the world I can't think of one?

Sanity has LONG been over-rated and I am living proof that a bit of nutter with your mince pies can work wonders!

So, what are you waiting for? Get yourself off to Crazy Granny now and get festive!!!!

I'll see you in Wandsworth in Feb....

HO! HO ! HO!

'A Christmas Tale (Or Two)'

I have always been a bit of a joker and love to throw people into a state of confusion every now and then. I have also been known to dress up as Santa and turn up at parties dressed as the old gent. The twist to the story, however, is that I REALLY AM Santa but don't let on to anyone I told you...

Anyway, the tale of one of my funniest moments ever as my alter ego, is bound to make you smile so I am posting it here. I am a regular contributor to a local magazine called 'Hastings Town' and the following piece was published in that magazine a year or so ago. I swear on my mothers life that every word of the following is true so don't think for a second that it isn't. Yes, I really am that potty when it comes to Christmas!

The above photo was taken in Bruges, Belgium at Xmas 2005. I took a Santa outfit with me on holiday and then surprised everyone (including the tour operators and hotel staff) by coming down for dinner on Xmas eve dressed as Santa. 'Just popped in before my big nights work' I told them!

‘A Christmas Tale’ by Tony May

I always like to write something Christmassy and light hearted for the December edition of ‘HT’ and so this year I thought I’d take a leaf out of our old friend ‘Jimper’s’ book and recount to you the story of my most extraordinary (and I promise on my mother’s life –TRUE) Christmas experience of all.

Now, you don’t have to be a brain surgeon to work out that, for a 45 year old, I’m not your ‘usual candidate’ (Cowboy hat anyone? No? Really?) or a stereotypical male but Christmas is one time of the year when it can be a great advantage to be a bit ‘odd’ or to have a reputation as ‘a bit of a nutter’!

Why? Well, I have a little secret that not many people know about – I like dressing up… No, not in women’s clothes (ooh, you lot always think the worst of a guy) but as Santa Claus and I have done a fair few ’nutty’ things dressed as the old gent over the years.

The funniest instance of all was when (having just joined Shorelink Community Writers Group in 2004) I turned up at their Christmas party dressed as St Nick complete with full beard, hat and a sack full of presents slung over my shoulder. The then Shorelink Chair, Robert Brandon, opened the door to me and the look on his face was priceless! Robert obviously had no idea who I was but how could anyone refuse Father Christmas entry to a Christmas party? Realizing this and for a bit of devilment, I decided to wait a while once inside before revealing my identity. Witnessing Robert stumble and fluster whilst trying to introduce me to all present was truly hilarious and when I finally did pull my beard down and take my hat off (its really hot in all that garb I can tell you) everyone had a right laugh and Robert and I have been good friends ever-since!

In fact, that night will live long in my memory for a lot of reasons as I had been causing similar havoc about Hollington before even making it to the party (which incidentally was held at the recently demolished ‘Nicola Rodmell School Of Dance’ in Silverhill).

Dressing up in a Santa costume is not quite as easy as it may seem. As any professional will tell you, trying to make sure your beard doesn’t fall down, that your whiskers don’t tickle your nose and make you sneeze and to get those large black boots with sleigh bells attached on at all takes a monumental effort. Because of this and having planned a lift to the party with a friend, I got into my outfit at home. Well, in the end this friend rang me to say he couldn’t make it! So, there I was dressed as Santa Claus with no way of getting to the party? What could I do I thought? Surely, if I was to call a taxi and tell them that ‘Father Christmas wants a lift to Silverhill’ I would either be told sarcastically to ‘use my sleigh’ or they would think my call was a wind up and not show up - no buses were running either so that option was out.

Thus it was that, like some scene from a badly written script for ‘Only Fools & Horses’, I eventually WALKED up to Silverhill wearing the full costume. Doing so was not only one of the most bizarre and comical things I have ever done but THE most revealing about human nature. The vast difference in how people reacted to me was amazing. Lots of people waved and honked their car horns as they drove past and a fair few of their children nearly went into orbit with excitement in the back seats. Reactions were much more mixed however from those I actually came across in the street. Most were friendly and shared a word with me or pulled my leg but some seemed frightened and deeply suspicious of me and kept their distance. Until then, I would never have thought it possible for anyone to be wary or scared of Father Christmas but I suppose people are so used to hearing of terrible things these days that whenever they cannot clearly see your face they automatically fear the worst.

You can imagine the chaos I caused then when en-route I popped into ‘Costcutters’ in Battle Rd (it was a ‘bring a bottle’ party). After casually plodding around to the drinks section and selecting what I wanted, I calmly went and joined the queue for the tills. How hilarious that must have been for those watching the security cameras upstairs. That must be one of the most boring jobs of all time and I bet they rubbed their eyes a good few times before believing what they were seeing! The lady in front of me in the queue saw the funny side of it though – “I never thought I’d be queuing up with Santa Claus’ she said with a smile. I have to say the staff were all very nice too and so, overall, it was a happy experience.

Best of all though was the incident that occurred just before the Silverhill traffic lights…

Walking fairly briskly and ‘jingle-jangling’ as I went, I started to make up ground on a woman walking alone ahead of me. Eventually, I saw her quite naturally glance back over her right shoulder to see what the noise was. What happened next though I swear happened in true ‘Laurel & Hardy’ style, for after walking on for a few seconds as if everything was perfectly normal, the lady’s head whizzed around again and she stopped dead in her tracks. “Ho, ho, ho” piped up I and waved – trying to be friendly.

Well, whether in shock, fear or utter disbelief, thereafter the woman stood motionless until I reached her. “Its o.k. I’m on my way to a Christmas Party,” I said, smiling (but failing to realize that she wouldn’t be able to see my smile because of my beard). To my relief, the lady fell about laughing at this - more so in fact than I expected.  The more she tried to compose herself and speak to me, the more she once again burst into a fit of giggles. Well, as often happens in such circumstances (this happens to you a lot then? –Ed) it wasn’t long before I started to laugh as well!

When, finally, my newly found friend regained her composure, she told me of how she’d been under a lot of strain recently following a bereavement and some financial difficulties and to her alarm had been acting a bit strangely. Fearing she was ‘cracking up’ she’d gone to see her Doctor who’d prescribed her some pills - a side effect of which could be hallucinations!

“You can well imagine then how I felt after glancing behind me to see Santa Claus walking calmly behind me in the street!”

The lady and I continued on our way for a few paces together before going our separate ways at the Silverhill traffic lights…

“There’s no way I’m going to tell my family about this as, with all my recent problems, they won’t believe me and I will probably end up sectioned!” she said with a huge smile upon her face as she left.

That lady (I don’t think I ever did get her name) and I shared a ‘one in a million moment’ that day and it is still nice for me to think back on how I, in my stupidity and with my Christmas sense of fun, provided someone with a badly needed reason to laugh at life at just the right time. I bet she still thinks of our chance meeting at least once every Christmas, like I do!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! 

'Santa's Tale Of Woe'

I'd like to begin this blog with a poignant little story I wrote back in 2004 that for me sums up how sad it is now that the evils of a few have been allowed to dominate our thinking in such a way as children - who will ask to be picked up or hugged as soon as they clap eyes on Santa Claus - have to be denied the joy that a warm embrace gives. The really sad thing about this is that we (adults) understand why a big hug is no longer possible but kids do not and must often feel unloved and rejected. My question for you all to consider therefore is, by protecting them from the ills of the few are we doing more damage by denying them the love of the masses? I think so...   

Santa's Tale Of Woe by Tony May

“I teetered precariously on the precipice of life I can tell you” said Santa to Mrs. Christmas shaking his head sadly. Mrs. Christmas handed her husband a glass of mulled wine and gently squeezed his lower arm. “They said I was no longer allowed to touch any of the children, me! Santa Claus! Can you believe that? What good am I if I cannot show love and affection to all the children of the world teaching them in turn to show love to others?”

Santa put down his glass of wine and with his elbows resting on his knees, began to sob uncontrollably. Mrs. Christmas’s eyes narrowed in sympathy. “There, there, dear” she said softly standing behind her distraught husband and gently placing a caring hand upon his shoulder.

How it made her blood boil to see her wonderful, caring and conscientious husband so distressed. She had a good mind to use the sleigh this minute, go to earth and give all those overly paranoid, politically correct busybodies a piece of her mind! Had people become so afraid, suspicious and distrusting of evil that they were no longer able to see the good in any of us? For every peadophile amongst men a million others were loving, gentle and kind-hearted. If the world had banned hugs and kisses then the whole of humanity was doomed. For, without hugs and kisses love cannot grow and in a world without love there would no longer be a need for Christmas!

Contemplating such horrible thoughts made Mrs. Christmas begin to well up. Desperate to appear strong for her still sobbing husband, however, with one last ounce of strength she heard herself say…

“Now, now dear, do not trouble yourself so. I will be back soon with a nice cup of tea and a sherry mince pie – you’ll feel much better then”.

Once safely out of sight and earshot of her husband in the kitchen, Mrs. Christmas allowed herself a little cry. How could the people of earth be so stupid, she thought? Did they not realize that without the time of reflection that is Christmas people would become disconnected from each other, greedy, uncaring and selfish.

“Pull yourself together Amelia! There’s nothing to be gained by falling apart,” She thought to herself…

Wiping her eyes with the bottom of her pinafore Mrs. Christmas swiftly set about filling the kettle with water and put it on the hearth. Then, a few minutes later, all smiles, she made her way back into the living room a tray containing a fresh pot of tea and a plate of sugar dusted mince pies in her hands.

Thankfully, by this time Santa had managed to compose himself once more and was sitting quietly in his favourite armchair staring at the Christmas tree - his still booted feet resting on a footstall. 

“I’m sorry darling,” said Santa managing a weak smile.

“Perhaps I am just a little tired and out of step with the times. Has the post arrived yet?

“Not yet dear but it shouldn’t be long. You pull off those boots and relax in front of the fire – I will see to Rudolph and the other reindeers tonight”.

Santa smiled warmly. “You’re a good woman, Mrs. Christmas, a good woman,” he said tenderly.

Mrs. Christmas placed her ‘tray full of comforts’ down on a small table nearby and walked over to the door to grab her coat.

“Now don’t let your tea get cold. Will you?” She said as she opened the door.

Stepping out into the cold winters eve, Mrs. Christmas gazed up at the stars as she walked the few yards from the house to the ‘magic calling point’.

“Rudy! Rudy!” She shouted.

Almost immediately the sound of sleigh bells could be heard and a few moments later Rudolph’s red nose could be seen glowing like a headlight in the night sky. Then, as if by magic, Rudolph and the other reindeers slid the sleigh to a halt in front of her.

Mrs. Christmas went over to the sleigh and stroked each Reindeer’s coat affectionately.

“You won’t be needed again tonight dears”,she said, releasing each one in turn from the harness on the heavy sleigh. “Off with you now back home to your families but be sure to listen for our call tomorrow”.

One by one the Reindeers galloped off into the night sky. Rudolph, however, seemed reluctant to go and sidled up to Mrs. Christmas nudging her gently with his glowing red nose.

“Yes Rudy, I know, you’re worried about him too. Mrs. Christmas gave Rudolph a loving pat and gently pulled his silken ears.

“Don’t worry Rudy, I’ll make sure he’s fine again soon.”

Rudolph’s nose flashed on and off – something he only did when he was happy – and then with a shake of his antlers he flew back into the night sky.

Mrs. Christmas stood in the snow and watched Rudolph until she could see only the tiniest speck of his red nose in the distance. What was to come of the festive season, good will to all men, love peace and understanding, she thought?

Walking back to their tiny house her spirits were suddenly given a tremendous boost for, the closer to home she got, the louder the sound of her husbands laughter became!

“Ho, Ho, Ho”

“Ho, Ho, Ho”

“Ho, Ho, Ho”

“Ho, Ho, Ho”

Mrs. Christmas wiped the snow away from outside the front room window and peered into their home. There, the morning post scattered about him, was her husband joyously looking at thousands of Christmas cards from the children of earth. With every primitive drawing of himself he came across so another ho, ho, ho, erupted and with every letter he read so the broadest smile swept across his face.

Mrs. Christmas smiled. No one could ever come between her husband and the children of the world she thought for he, after all, was the biggest kid of all…

Antony May 11/12/04