'A Festive Update!'

 Hi Everyone!

So, how is your Christmas shopping going? I'm doing pretty well with mine but there are always those 'hard to know what to get sorts' that seem to be the eternal puzzle!

I have been busy preparing for my appearance on the Jeff Belton Full English Breakfast Christmas Show on C.H. R. (Conquest Hospital Radio) and have found lots of fun and Christmassy records to play you on the 23rd! A side from the music, Jeff and I are also planning to perform during a 'Stritctly Cum Christmas' section, organise a Christmas yo-yoing competition and to battle it out live on the air playing a simple little game I have invented called 'Santa's Pop-A-Pod' game! Whatever happens it is going to be fun and the nearest thing you will get to the 'office party' this year so make sure you tune in between 9AM and12 midday on Dec 23rd!

A Daft Festive Painting Of Mine!

My reputation as a 'Christmas person' (or 'nutter') also got me an invite recently to put together a short, fun Christmas Quiz for Artsonprescriptions online Christmas zoom party on the 18th of December.  I had a lot of fun yesterday doing the research and compiling the quiz and am now looking forward to being 'Honourary Quizmaster'. With 20 multiple choice questions of mirth and madness to challenge and entertain my 'subjects' I hope to put plenty of smiles upon faces AND help teach everyone a few fun facts about Christmas in the bargain! I will most likely post these quiz questions here nearer to Christmas so that you can 'all have a go at home' -as dear old 'Brucie' used to say on the Generation Game! So keep your eyes peeled for that!

For all of the frivolity to come this Christmas isn't going to be the same as normal. My Christmas perpetually starts with the St Clements Church Christmas Fair in Hastings Old Town but that like many other seasonal events had to be cancelled this year. Still, all we can do this time around is try and think of the current restrictions as a 'challenge'. 

If there is indeed more than one way to skin a cat (though I've never understood why anyone would want to skin a cat in the first place? Maybe this folk lore comes from the time of witches and witchcraft?) then there HAS to be a plethora of new ways we can get into the festive spirit, hasn't there? I have certainly found one by joining up with the Artsonprescription team and getting creative! I am never going to be 'Picasso' but drawing and painting are relaxing and fun ways to pass the time when 'Mr Johnson' says that you have to 'Stay In, Wash Your Hands, Wear A Batman Mask and an inflatable Kermit Suit and Save Lives' (or something like that!). I have even 'taken the plunge' and bought a little wooden Christmas house I intend to paint from 'The Works' (£10 - a bit overpriced but HUGE Fun) so inspired I've been by learning all about 'the colour wheel' and 'impressionism'. I'm getting better at painting and can do a half decent Baron Greenback (from 'Dangermouse') impression as well though how Rory Bremner and his cohorts helped some of the greatest impressionistic painters I don't know? I suppose Henri Matisse did have a passing resemblance to Spike Milligan...

Look, enough of this drivel, keep smiling, keep Christmas in your heart, get creative and HAVE FUN this year -whatever! x

'A Sort Out Brings Back Memories'

 Lockdown is not the most riveting way to live nor is it great for putting you in a festive mood but one of the things it is good for is inspiring a person to have a sort out a clean up or both!

Now, my room is perpetually a 'total bombsite'. I may well be 'The Clean Up Man' and thus a  'champion of the litter picker' but I am also fiercely sentimental and HATE getting rid of things! (lol) Such a trait is often like a ball and chain around your leg because if you don't throw things away it means you have to find somewhere to put them! I guess in many ways it is one of the reasons I love my favourite shop, 'Teddy Tinkers' in London Rd, Hastings so much. My friend Kate's shop often reminds me of my bedroom in the respect that it is full of memories, curiosities and reminders of the past. Kate does keep the stock in her shop in a much more orderly fashion than I do though, I hasten to add!

Anyway, with blogging on my mind today I decided to try and find a 'curiosity from a Christmas long ago' that I was recently given to show you all but (as usual) was unable to locate it and instead found something completely different!

Tucked down the side of an otterman that 'Lord Lucan could have hidden in this last 50 years' (so little have I 'reached' it!) I came across a plastic bag with some old stamp albums, birthday and Christmas cards in. Now, when I say 'old' I mean from the 1970's and early 80's - though the plastic bag they were in had 'Sounds Exciting From Decca - An Outstanding Series Of Records To Suit All Tastes' written on it - so we could even be talking early 1970's!

One of the items inside the bag was this sweet little Christmas card I drew and coloured in as a kid! 'To Nanny May' said the blue envelope it was in and inside in my handwriting it simply says 'Happy Xmas from Tony'. Well, seeing as I am 55 now this little card must be approaching 50 years old! Amazing really seeing as it is still in such good condition... Sadly, I lost 'Nanny May' in 2014 (aged 104!) but she is often in my thoughts and I expect I 'got the card back' when she died and we were clearing her house.

 

In lots of ways I don't see this discovery as 'sad' thought because it proves how much my Nan loved my 'rather basic' effort - keeping it for the rest of her life - far better then than any of the 'swanky' type Christmas cards we all buy (well, used to!) each year

Talking of which, the bag also contained a selection of VERY NAFF 1970's Christmas cards! If you think today's 'Deluxe' Christmas cards that you can buy for about 99p a box (of 12) are poor quality you should have been around in the early 70's and bought some of the 'shockers' people used to order packs of from their Kays Catalogue! Thin! By gum, Charles Hawtrey was a body building champion compared to them! (lol) In spite of their 'budget element' though I have to say that they too have stood the test of time rather well in this plastic bag. 'Printed in U.K.' or 'Printed in Great Britain' was always on the back of these cards, which if nothing else proved that a) we used to manufacture something here then and b) that people were much more patriotic than they are today. The fact that the cards were of REALLY awful quality didn't seem to matter to people it was all about 'buying British'!

I don't know about you but I would LOVE to be able to flick through some of those old Kays and Littlewoods catalogues from that time again now - not only would it be fun to laugh at the 'fashions' it would be fascinating 'drooling' over the toys & games section! I still have a few of my 1970's boxed games (like 'On The Buses', 'Movie Maker' and 'Exploration' but none are in great condition and I saw one of those 'antique selling shows' on T.V. the other day where a man was having a 'Dr. Who & The Daleks' boxed game valued. £40-50 it was worth and I used to have one! (sob) 

If you are willing to 'pay through the teeth' for retro replicas you can get 70's toys like the 'Scepter Interceptor' from 'Space 1999' on the Internet (Gerry Anderson Official Website) but at £125 a go I think I will stick with my memories!

As far as the stamp albums I found they were dated 1977. I used to buy them from 'The Stamp & Coin Shop' in Norman Road, St Leonards - where I also bought most of my stamps. Obviously, all of the stamps inside are now almost 50 years old but I doubt very much if any are worth a great deal.

One of the stamp albums even has a few of the little packets that the Stamp & Coin Shop used to sell their stamps in - all good for bringing back memories of school  and of 'fun and adventures on our bikes' (mine was a 'Chopper') - like the time we rode to West Ham (near Pevensey) and back with my mates Norman Crouch, Gary Willis, and Paul Jenner. I wonder if any of them still have their old stamp albums? I doubt it - I do tend to be a bit of a 'one off' when it comes to hoarding! 

'Dear Old Des'

 I was so very sad to hear of the death of Des O’ Connor on the 14th of November. Des was such a wonderful entertainer and someone whose ‘twinkle in his eye’ and infectious laugh made you feel better just watching. So much of T.V. today is made up of programmes that either ‘have something to say’, are controversial, show life in its harshest terms (and therefore scare the living daylights out of you like ‘Cant Pay, We’ll Take It Away’) or feature ‘comedy’ that revolves around smug, middle aged journalist types making sarcastic comments about celebrities. How I miss ‘gentle humour’ on television and shows like ‘Play Your Cards Right’, ‘The Price Is Right’ ‘3-2-1’, and ‘The Generation Game’ that were just fun, frivolous and about as far away from politics as you can get! T.V. in the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s was designed to cheer you up and make you feel better about your lot - however rotten that may have been with constant strikes, power cuts, the cold war, The Berlin wall and the threat of nuclear war with Russia! 

Where has our ability to laugh at ourselves gone? No-one was better at that than Des! The ‘stick’ that he perpetually got about his singing from Morecambe & Wise would have been the cause of one of the longest court cases of all time today! ‘Leg-pulling’ used to be a fundamental part of British life and in many cases we only knew who our real friends were by the apparent severity of their ‘insults’ when speaking to us! (lol) Humour used to be the ‘backbone of the British stiff upper lip’ and yet today you really have to stop and think twice before saying anything to some people….

Nah, give me the Des O’ Connor show any day! What with madcap antics from guest Freddie Starr, music, showbiz and some fascinating celebrity interviews full of laughter and ‘stories from inside the business’ we would otherwise never have heard Des and his smile were the perfect accompaniment to the twinkle of our Christmas tree lights and the sparkling tinsel reflected in our sherry glasses.

Fortunately, I will be able to spend a little time with Des this Christmas as I have his Christmas album on vinyl! Sadly, it doesn’t feature his festive single on Pye records from 1978 ‘Yes, There Is A Santa Claus/ At Christmas’ - that can be found on the Hallmark compilation Lp ‘Christmas With The Stars’ - but it is full of the ‘usual Christmas songs’ and will serve as a nice reminder for me this year of Des spreading his typical ray of sunshine on everything.

Images courtesy of Discogs.com

As if to provide long-suffering Des with ‘one last parting insult’ it ‘tickled’ me to discover on Discogs.com  that not a single person owns ‘Yes, There Is A Santa Claus’ on 7” on the site nor has anyone said that they want one! What Eric Morecambe would have made out of that ‘ammunition’ is anyones guess! (lol) I’m willing to bet though that Des himself would think it both funny and in a perverse way quite fitting and would most likely have come out with a quip like ‘I knew it would be popular when I was making the album! as his response.

R.I. P. Des and THANK YOU SO MUCH for all of the happy memories - if I can find a copy of ‘Yes, There Is A Santa Claus’ on CD in time I promise I will play it on my old mate Jeff Belton’s C.H.R. (Conquest Hospital Radio) Christmas show on the 23rd of December (9A.m-12 midday U.K. time)…it should do more to solve the problem of bed blocking than coronavirus ever will!

'Do A Jigsaw!'

 With things the way they are at the moment most of us are being forced to spend more of our time indoors. Now, many of you will see that as being ’stuck’ indoors rather than a blessing but it doesn’t have to be as miserable and frustrating as that!

All you have to do is have the fortitude to get yourself off of your mobile phone and switch off the T.V. and your computer for a while and take a leaf out of how people in the 1950’s and 60’s passed their time indoors. 

Now, before you get ‘too excited’ I’m not talking about how  it was common to have 6 sisters and 5 brothers back then I am talking about ‘hobbies’! (lol)

Why not clear a space on the kitchen table and then have a go at a jigsaw puzzle?  A decent puzzle takes up a LOT of time! If you choose a puzzle that you like the look of and am interested in the subject matter of then spending some quiet ‘down time’ scrabbling through boxes trying to locate just the right piece can be absorbing, relaxing fun!

Sales of jigsaw puzzles have ‘gone through the roof’ during the last few months and websites like, Jigsawpuzzle.co.uk  Gibsons Games, The Works, W.H. Smiths or of course the habitual Amazon (though they are often more expensive here because sellers know we are all lazy!) are all great places to browse.

I am a fan of the Yorkshire Artist, Trevor Mitchell because I LOVE all of the retro, typically English scenes he paints. Thankfully, a lot of Trevor’s work gets picked up by Gibsons Games and their latest addition to the ‘Mitchell Canon’ is one of Trevor;’s finest of all works - ‘The Queen’s Speech’.

Just take a look at this wonderfully emotive picture! Trevor may have taken his inspiration for the painting from life in the 1950’s but - give or take a few details - this is EXACTLY the kind of Christmas I remember as a kid in the 1960’s and early 70’s. Gibsons have only recently released ‘The Queen’s Speech’ as a 1000 piece puzzle ( it was previously only available as a 500 piece version in a four puzzle set) and I am awaiting mine in the post any day now!

My Nan’s house in Battle Rd was almost a carbon copy of this front room!

Photo Courtesy of Jigsawpuzzle.co.uk

The only major difference being that at my Nan’s it wasn’t actually the front room of the house at all but the smaller, easier to heat room that led out to the back garden. Nan therefore had glass windows and a door rather than a brick wall as far as the back of the picture is concerned but aside from that the fireplace, mirror and positioning of the chairs is pretty much the same. 

I grew up associating ‘Quality Street’ chocolates with Christmas and Nan’s T.V was in roughly the same place as in the picture so this is how we al would have huddled around to watch the Queens speech on Christmas Day. I used to have a lot of Matchbox cars rather than Corgi Toys and none of my family have ever been ones for much booze (boring gits!) but Nan would sometimes break out glasses of ‘Bristol Creme’ Sherry after Christmas Dinner. The clock on the mantlepiece and Christmas cards either side of it are accurate as is the positioning of the grate (though Nan’s was much smaller than that). 

There is NOTHING like a real fire to ‘cuddle up around’ at Christmas - especially if it is FREEZING in all the other rooms - and Nan did use to but both the T.V. Times & Radio Times magazines and put them in a magazine wrack just like the one you see in the picture (though it was in a different place next to Nan’s chair, which would have been out of picture at the end of the table far bottom right).

For all of the reasons above and because I miss my Nan (who died aged 104!)

My Lovely Nan (Ronnie)

I LOVE this picture and hope to spend many an hour trying to put the puzzle of it together over Christmas this year when my copy arrives from Gibsons!

Trevor is a brilliantly talented Artist and seems to me (from the few e mail exchanges I have had with him) to be both a ‘Christmas person’ and a thoroughly nice chap. So, why not treat yourself or someone you know this Christmas to something of Trevor’s? If you visit https://www.trevormitchellartist.com you will find his website. I have also bought two of Trevor’s 2021 Calendars from the Calendar Club website so if puzzles aren’t quite your bag but you love a bit of nostalgia then maybe that is the route to go down?

Whatever, don’t just sit about frustratedly in front of the T.V. or ‘mindlessly’ browsing the Internet on your phones during lockdown - re-connect yourself with something simple, fun and festive and before you know it you will be smiling again!

'Shops! Glorious Shops!'

 It’s amazing how life in lockdown effects different people in different ways. I am lucky in many respects to be living with two other people - so I am never on my own for very long - but even then I feel ‘cut off’ from society.

The last 4-5 months aside from missing my lovely friends it is SHOPPING that I have missed the most! By that I mean I miss the fun of ‘pottering around the town’ browsing in charity shops looking for a bargain or thumbing through the second hand records and CD’s. With little money to spend these days I can fill a carrier bag sometimes with purchases from charity shops and even if I don’t find a single thing I always have fun looking and chatting with strangers…

Last night I had a ‘double whammy’ dream! I dream’t I was in a large shop of the type ‘Woolworths’ used to be!

Woolies Last Days In 2008

I was browsing the isles and got chatting to a very beautiful female member of staff! She had long blonde hair and a pony tail and had one of ‘Woolies’ old ‘slip on over the head fasten at the side’ style tops. I don’t remember exactly what we were talking about now but the ‘essence of Woolies’ has been with me all day today because of it! How I would love to be able to visit Woolworths toy department this Christmas! I’d deliberately use the escalator if I could just because the whole ‘department store experience’ is dying out now. I am VERY attached to Debenhams and have been keeping everything crossed this year that they will find a way to survive the pandemic but even if they do online shopping has become pretty much the ‘go to default’ for most people nowadays, hasn’t it?

There used to be something quite magical about shopping in Hastings town centre for Christmas presents in December. Sure, the crowds and subsequent queue’s at the till could be a bit wearying but seeing people everywhere carrying lots of carrier bags and boxes really brought home to you that Christmas was coming! Bobble hats, scarves and wooly gloves were all regular sights and having to ‘do the rounds’ to try and get the present you wanted when W.H. Smith’s or Wollies had sold out was all part of it! Not only was high street shopping good for retailers and the local Council it also helped keep you fit! With Hastings town centre being ‘spaced out a bit’ (an under-statement!) by the time you had trudged to

Debenhams, W.H. Smith’s, Woolworths and maybe Argos and then either decided to ‘head up Queens Rd’ or ‘make for the specialist shops along the Old Town’ you had done a few miles! Tired and thirsty a good cuppa and a rest when you got home (unless you popped into ‘Dimarcos’ of course!) was like the holy grail itself!

Now, as easy as it is to find what you are looking for, a ‘click here and a click, click there’ on Amazon is o.k. but it doesn’t really make you feel Christmassy nor do you feel as if you’ve ‘gone out of your way to find that special someone exactly the right gift’ either. It’s all very impersonal and functional - a bit like a visit to the Doctors surgery these days where the ‘receptionist’ is often a screen who BEEEP’S when ‘it wants to alert you’ that the Doctor (FAT CHANCE!) or ‘Nurse Practitioner’ is ready for you!

In truth, I think my dream last night was my subconscious minds way of telling me that ‘it’s about time you got married mate’ because ‘your era’ has kind of passed! (lol) As you get older you need someone to confide in about your ‘hopes & dreams and someone who is happy to listen to you ‘chuntle on’ about your memories, don’t you?  For now I only have you lot - my readers! 

Stay happy! x 

'A Virtual Christmas!'

 Hello again!

Well, what a ‘rotten tomato’ of a year 2020 has turned out to be, eh? I tell you what if I’d known on New Years Eve last year when I posted my last post to you all I would have made sure to tell you all to have a few more drinks - stiff drinks!

Still, ‘it is what it is’ and considering the situation regarding the worldwide pandemic no matter where you are in the world reading this my message to you is this… that we owe it not only to ourselves, our families and to those we may have lost this year but to Christmas itself to make Christmas 2020 every bit as festive and Christmassy as every other year! if anything we all need to make this Christmas even more special - even if we have to end up with a ‘virtual Christmas’.

With that in mind I hope to ‘lead the charge’ myself with this blog and over the next two months I shall be posting all kinds of ‘festive goodies’ to keep you entertained, informed and (hopefully) smiling!

Jeff Belton & Ernie The Elf & Friend In The CHR Studio

To start with today why not put the 23rd of December at 9 A.M. (U.K. time) in your diary! Why? Well, my mate Jeff Belton will be on the radio doing our annual ‘Christmas Breakfast Show’ on Conquest Hospital Radio then and it will be a whole lot of fun! No matter where you are it is free to tune in online - just search for Conquest Hospital Radio and click on the ‘listen live’ box on the website and you are in! Jeff and I always have lots of laughs, crack madcap jokes, talk about ‘the old days’ and play a fabulously festive selection of records! You might even get to hear one of my own Christmas songs - though I doubt it will be a new recording unless I win the lottery between now and then! Still, if you’ve not heard ‘If Santa Was A D.J’ or ‘The Toy Museum’ you are surely missing out (even if I do say so myself!) and need to arrest that situation to satisfy your ‘bucket list’! (lol)

Another thing to look out for if you are in ‘my neck of the woods’ in Hastings is a special Covid 19 Christmas story that I have written. It is due to be published in the December/January edition of ‘Hastings Town’ magazine out on December the 5th.

It might be ‘covid themed’ but is not a miserable tale and is one I hope to brighten your day whether you are 3 or 93! ‘Hastings Town’ magazine can easily be found on Facebook so if you are not local but would like a copy drop the magazine’s Editor Jim Hollands a line there or for U.K. customers call 01303 814874 to secure a copy for yourself in the post. 

Right then, that’s it for now but keep your eyes peeled as I will be back soon with more Christmassy chat and fun!

Toodle pip!