'No Wonder Its Called Boxing Day!'

Well peeps, I sincerely hope you had a better Christmas than I did this year! Christmas Day wasn't so bad... after starting with a row, coming home to find my Dads garage lock had been vandalised so he couldn't put the car away, a fight over the road from where I live - complete with shouting, an ambulance and the police and being unable to sleep! My only solace was that I finished the day by watching 'Scrooge' with Alastair Sim again. I always watch that film at some point during Christmas and left it rather late this time. No matter how many times I see it the film always makes me blub and helps to make my own life , which is far from perfect at the moment, seem better.

Boxing Day added even more misery to the pot though and was like one of Jeremy Beadle's pranks! After working for half an hour on a review for Amazon.com I was just checking it out to make sure the wording was fine when BOOM! the Internet went down... To add to my misery, the telephone connection was also down and so I was left with no way of contacting anyone, writing a blog or doing ANYTHING pretty much!

As is traditional for me on Boxing Day, I then turned my attention to the Racing and the King George at Kempton. Now I know that having a bet at Christmas time is asking for trouble but I used to gamble EVERY DAY and now only allow myself certain days on the calendar to 'have a go' so its actually quite a source of excitement and pleasure for me to 'take on the old enemy' on Boxing Day. To be honest, I really fancied my chances this year (always fatal!) and was quietly confident of a win. Well, to say that things didn't work out would be an understatement! My nap of the day ran in the first race at Kempton and I rushed home eager to watch it...only to find that Channel 4 were not showing that race!
When I heard the result my horse was nowhere! What made it even more annoying was that the 'main danger' I had made a note of WON and at 12/1! HA HA 

I tell you, whenever as a gambler you get a start like that you just know its not going to be your day. In the end I failed to get a single winner. One of my horses bolted and was withdrawn at the start, one made a bad mistake at the last and threw victory away and two others were pulled up - it was just one of those days!

Add to all this 'jollity' my Dad constantly going on about what he'd like to do to the person who keeps vandalising his garage ( this is the 4th time they have damaged the lock) and my Mum whining about stuff and you have an idea of how CRAP yesterday was! It really does tickle me sometimes how my luck at Christmas always seems to run out. I guess thats why watching 'A Christmas Carol' is such a tonic because it puts all these minor - but INCREDIBLY annoying things into perspective. It seems to me that the more you love something and are determined to enjoy it the more life does to kick you where it hurts.

Today though I will get to see how TRULY lucky I am in spite of another dysfunctional Christmas. I am going to 'Surviving Christmas' this afternoon to entertain the homeless people. My voice is not likely to be that great to be honest as I haven't sung for quite a while but all I can do is do my best. My friend, Sally, goes every year and has roped me in today. I have genuine fears (realistic ones too!) of ending up homeless myself in the near future so I will be facing a few fears by helping out today. Still, I am sure the experience will be character building and if I manage to make even one persons Christmas a bit brighter I will be fulfilled. I really shouldn't complain about my lot but it would be SO LOVELY if just once I managed to have the kind of happy Christmas I so wish for...

Oh well, roll on 2014!

'Merry Christmas!'

Well, todays the day! I hope you all have something fabulous lined up to make the day a memorable one. My Christmas is not going to be a spectacular event this year but at least I am not flooded out like a lot of poor souls and spending quality time with loved ones is never time wasted...

Funnily enough though I have been thinking about the years I spent Christmas on holiday the last day or two. Its always refreshing to travel and see a bit of the world but as my Christmas holiday to Kufstein in Austria proved, the grass (or snow in this case) is not always greener on the other side.

A department store in Kufstein. Typically for my luck they were closed while I was there!

I was going through a bit of a depression in 2007 and so decided that the best thing I could do was to book up a Christmas  break and head off to the land of snow and mountains. At that time I was in work at a music merchandise company called 'Masons Music Ltd' and the workload up until Christmas there was always incredible. Virtually every day would involve doing some overtime and the amount of phone calls we used to get was amazing. It was hard work and very tiring but my boss was a great bloke and was always very generous to us all at the end of it. He used to take us all out for a meal, give us extra wages AND let us take a present from the warehouse so putting in so much effort was never difficult just tiring.

Anyway, with all that work ahead of me I knew that I needed something to look forward to and so a holiday to 'Kufstein' in Austria in a 4 star hotel seemed ideal. Snow, snow, slopes, fairy lights, carols and MORE snow was I felt sure to be on the agenda and a 4 star hotel should be quite a swanky place to stay as well! To be pampered and to be forced to be jolly and make new friends seemed like the ideal remedy to my woes...

Snowless Kufstein - Nice lights though!

As ever, however, things did not quite go to plan! Sure, Austria had all the snow anyone could want but Kufstein itself was almost snow free. My idea of soft, crunchy, fluffy snow also went out of the window as an excursion to Kitzbuhel on Boxing Day proved when all I found there was a wet and quite dirty looking place where no where was open! Salzburg was lovely but it was just one day out of seven and the 4 days of traveling there and back on a coach almost killed me...

Worst of all though was my 4 star hotel. The 'luxury' I expected to find turned out so bad in fact that I made the following two videos to upload on Youtube when I got home...

Things did not start out well from the minute we arrived at the hotel. My name and the names of another couple were not on the guest list and because of that I think they and I ended up getting the 'spare rooms' usually designated for our drivers. The fact that neither of our drivers ended up staying at the hotel seems to back this up though they might not have chosen to do so  because they'd been there before!

A friend of mine always tells me that I become very funny whenever I get depressed. The upside of this story is that both of the videos above turned out to be huge hits on Youtube. Because of this I really got the bug for making films and as of now have over 240 on my Maybrick44 channel! I wouldn't want to put you off going to Austria for Christmas because it is a beautiful place but if you do go make sure you go for longer than 7 days if you are traveling by coach because for three days actually there the traveling spoils it. If you can, stay in Salzburg because it has a lot of winter charm and is full of festive atmosphere. Be VERY careful where you stay though and make sure you check out your hotel online BEFORE you book up.

I DID get my 'revenge' on the hotel staff though because I had packed a complete Father Christmas outfit into my case and came down Christmas Day dressed up in it. I went in to where they were holding the disco, took over the mic and made a few speeches/had a few jokes with the people I knew from my coach. NO ONE realised who the hell I was so it was quite hilarious really - the staff did not know whether to grab me and throw me out or not!!!

Me as Father Christmas in Kufstein, Austria 2007

This Christmas story does have a happy ending though. Aside from gaining a new interest in making films I got some great footage and pictures of Salzburg and the Von Trappe Mansion (The Sound Of Music?) which I subsequently used for the artwork of my 'In Words, In Music...Of Life, Of Death' poetry/music album. Some of the other footage I got on that holiday went into my videos for 'Its Christmas Time' and my latest festive song 'A Winters Tale' so all in all it wasn't a disaster just not the uplifting experience I hoped for at the time...

Merry Christmas! xxxx 

'The Magic Of Candlelight'

We suffered a power cut at home last night due to the weather. One minute I was browsing the Internet on my laptop in my bedroom - the next I was plunged into total darkness bar the light from my computer screen...

The power came on again but then went off once more and so I lit a candle, turned off my laptop and just sat back and soaked up the atmosphere. With the wind howling away outside and the draft from my slightly ajar bedroom window making the flame of my candle dance and cast creepy shadows everywhere I felt just as if I had been transported back in time to the days of Ebeneezer Scrooge.

Was I too about to be visited by three ghosts? There was no use in hiding under the bedclothes like old Scrooge that was for sure! I got out my camera and took a few pictures of my candle burning bright in its brand new 'Wizzard' candle holder. I bought that during my visit to Seaford earlier this year as a present for someone else. As usual, however, in the end I bought them something different but (for once!) was quite happy that I did because I had wanted to keep it for myself all along!


'Hubble, bubble, toil and trouble' my little Wizzard looked just like the 70's television character 'Catweazle' with a hat on! I met the actor who played "Catweazle', Geoffrey Bayldon, earlier this year when I attended the 'Catweazle Fan Club' weekend get-together in East Horsley. The residue from the fallout of that weekend haunted me for some time actually as the fan club objected to a series of films I made of my time there for my Youtube channel. When I refused to take them off the net I was banned and thrown out of the club so my happiness at sharing in something dear to me and at meeting my hero was short-lived. Its a pity there isn't a ghost of 'hindsight' because we could all do with being visited by him or her regularly!

I can see now why people associate candlelight with relaxation. There is something natural, almost primeval about a flickering flame as opposed to modern lighting. I HATE the new bulbs anyway! They take an AGE to get bright, are full of Mercury and look ugly yet we are being forced to use them by the E.U. I won't start off about The E.U. and my hatred of it here as this is a Christmas blog  but lets just say that its very existence is one of the things that makes me such a retro loving person. Sure, 'the good old days' were never as good as we remember them but the modern day could certainly learn a lot from the past in my humble opinion.

One of my Christmas fantasies revolves around having the money to start up a business re-creating 'A Victorian Christmas'. How cool would it be to be able to go and stay in a HUGE mansion over Christmas bedecked in all of the traditional decorations! Not only that but I would BAN mobile phones, Laptops etc. 'Guests' would be picked up at an agreed location by hansom cab complete with black horses and driver and kitted out with Victorian costumes to wear during their time at the mansion on arrival. I would hire a combination of ordinary staff and actors to help re-create an authentic feel to things and entertainments would revolve around parlour games, masked balls and story telling. The cost of doing all this would of course be horrendous but if I won the lottery I'd gladly do it at least once just to have the experience of it myself!

Oh well, enough dreaming for one day. Have a cracking Christmas Eve - whatever the weather xx

'The Twelve Days Of Christmas'

'The Twelve Days Of Christmas' is a traditional song that warms the heart of both young and old. With its simple lyrics it is one of those songs that is fun to sing with all the family at Christmas. You don't have to be a great singer to take part and if you have a bit of imagination you can even 'adapt' the song to suit your own personal subject.

This is exactly what Shorelink Community Writers decided to do a few years back for part of their Christmas show. The video from the performance has long been a source of amusement within Shorelink because some of those who had taken part in rehearsals couldn't make it on the day and so the remaining 'players' had to make do and fill in here and there. Well, as you can see from this video, we were all doing a sterling job until about half way through the song and then all hell started to break loose!

I'm sorry that the quality of the video is so poor but the film was shot on a proper video camera and the footage needs to be converted into another format before I can load it into my Mac and edit it. This has just not happened  up until now and so I simply played it on my laptop and filmed it from there. The picture isn't great but you can see and hear whats going on and thats good enough for something that I hope will give you a festive laugh (or three)...

It is blowing a gale and peeing with rain here AGAIN so I venture that watching silly videos like this is going to be as near as I get to enjoying myself at present!

'Nearly There!'

Well, we are nearly at the finishing line for this years Christmas build up. It hasn't been the most memorable of Christmas run ins this year for me as the weather (will it EVER stop raining!) has been far from anything you imagine when thinking of a 'Winter Wonderland'. My luck hasn't been that great either as far as my camera letting me down TWICE on visits to Battle and my unavailability because of a writing festival in London to be able to attend my favourite Christmas Fair...

The papers though have cheered me up a bit with a few Christmassy stories and my old pal, Charles Dickens, would be well chuffed with teenager, Jordan Cox, who according to THE SUN used a selection of promotional vouchers to 'buy' £572.16 worth of food from Tesco's for 4p and then gave the lot to the charity, Doorstep. Now THATS the Christmas spirit old 'Charlie boy' was hoping to conjure up in all of us!

Old 'Charlie boy' Mr Charles Dickens and GOD BLESS his cotton socks!

Christmas is such a special time of the year but it is also a time when loneliness, financial worries, frustrations and thoughts of the past/missing loved ones strike home hardest. This Christmas please make sure that those you know who are alone are made aware of how loved and cherished they are. We all tend to get carried away with the hullabaloo that surrounds us at Christmas and often many amongst us who are sad, lost or are suffering are made to feel more so by the happiness of others. Christmas is a time to open your eyes as well as your heart and that is a part of the Christmas message I will always mention at this time no matter how many years (or not) I write this blog...

We all have unfulfilled dreams, we all 'wish' for pipe dreams but equally we all fail to see what a wonderful life we ALREADY HAVE. People are the most important thing on Dec 25th not money, not presents, not television, people and as a single guy myself I know that only too well. 

Me with my friend, Sally Patricia Gardner at our writing club Christmas meal.

I am not going to get all maudlin on you though, my GOD no! HA HA I am a 'bouncing off the walls' person at Christmas and so I will continue to spend the festive season in good cheer and complete with my Elf costume! The world cannot handle the festive cheer I pump out to others in December each year and I never tire of peoples looks of 'nutter' when I stumble across a member of the 'Bah Humbugian Sect'. Dear old Ebeneezer (the former) shall never dampen a TONY MAY CHRISTMAS no matter how hard they try!

No, no, no, be HAPPY over Christmas whatever you do PLEASE - but just be aware of the other side of the coin for others and make sure you always have a spare glass of wine/sherry and a mince pie for the less fortunate as well...

Love to all , xxxx

'I Say! Have A Discomknockeratingly Merry Christmas!'

Thinking back to the days of innocent, gloriously daft and incredibly silly humour leads my mind straight to the door of one of this countries best loved comics - Ken Dodd. I used to love 'The Diddymen' and really wish it was possible today to buy some of their television series on DVD. Amazingly, seeing how popular Ken still is today, as far as I can tell not one such DVD exists? Whether Ken owns the rights and is holding back for some reason or whether the shows were 'wiped' years ago and have been lost to history I don't know but for those of us who loved the little stereotypical chaps its a real downer!

Take a listen to this classic diddy song from 1967 and tell me that it isn't enough to make you 'rush out into the middle of the street in broad daylight and mercilessly attack your local vicar with your tickling stick while singing 'Nearer my God to Thee'! HA HA HA

See what I mean? One mention of dear Ken and his little diddypals and all of my inhibitions have flown out of the window - along with probably three or four years of my life if the local constabulary hear of my treatment of the vicar -...

In a way its amazing that I remember 'The Diddy Men' at all. I was born in 1965 sure but most of my earliest memories are not until much later. I don't actually remember ANY individual incidents from my very early years but instead have a great connection with my overall feeling of happiness from that period. Don't you think that's strange? Its like loving someone unconditionally whom you cannot recall a single special time with, isn't it? I think that either says a lot about me and my retrogressive mindset these days  or proves what a sentimental old twit I am for holding on to the past for dear life...

Ken Dodd & The Diddy Men Audio Fun

I saw an interview with Ken on television the other morning. Fern Britton is always worth watching and she interviewed Ken in his beloved Liverpool. Ken came across very well I thought. He is obviously a fiercely private person ( he mentioned disliking 'nosey parkers' to Fern at one point in the interview which made her blush a bit!) but for all that he loves to keep himself to himself when Ken Dodd the performer, comedian, actor or singer takes to the streets or the stage he gives everything of himself to us all. THANK YOU for that Ken - we do appreciate it. Mind you, your revelation that you sometimes wear socks in bed may go against your eventual legacy! HA HA HA

In fact, Christmas was made for Ken Dodd. What better time of year could there possibly be to encourage people to laugh their socks off while tickling someone under the armpit whose juggling? HA HA

If you see this Ken, have a merrytattifabulous, slightly discomknockerating and extremely Turkey marmalising Christmas!

'Best Dressed Christmas Windows'

One of the loveliest places to visit if ever you are in Hastings is The Old Town. With its ancient, characterful buildings, the smell of the sea and its good old fashioned tight-knit community I think its an example to the rest of us at Christmas of just how a sense of togetherness can spread happiness. 

In fact, a lot of the things that take place in Hastings & St Leonards throughout the year only happen because of the old towners. The Carnival, The Beach Festival, The Bonfire Society all are indelibly connected to the Old Town and thrive from the sense of community spirit that lives there. 

Bearing this in mind, it is no surprise then to find that along the Old Town the sense of Christmas as it used to be still hangs heavy in the air. There are some fantastic window displays and so much that goes a long way to make outsiders like me feel the warmth of a Dickens like Christmas. I took the pictures you see here today to give you a few examples of the kind of thing I'm talking about...

... yes, along The Old Town its not just about fairy lights or anything to do with corporate commercialism its about celebrating the fun that is Christmas, spreading a little happiness and making the festive season seem like something special, which, it no longer seems to be in the hearts and minds of many today.

So, go on, take a good look at and into this festive window and imagine what a wonderful country we could all enjoy if we all made as much effort to express the joy of the season to others as this householder has.

Merry Christmas and a big THANK YOU to all in The Old Town of Hastings and especially those who live at 'Pub View'. You made a real 'Christmas person' very happy today!