Well, we've made it! Christmas Day!
I hope you have all had a great day and gotten plenty of joy giving, receiving and eating!
I myself have had a good but emotional day. Worked my socks off this morning changing my bed linen, hoovering my room and half the house and sorting out stuff to throw away or give to the charity shop. I was really sad to have to give in and get rid of a load of old video films and home recorded stuff I had stored in the cupboard down stairs but I knew I had to do it. After that I had a rest and watched 'The Suspicions of Mr. Whicher' on telly and loved every minute of the Victorian era detective story. To be quite honest, I think I have more in common with the Victorians than I do the modern day people and I guess because of that I love anything that depicts life at that time.
Had a fantastic Christmas meal after that! My Dad loves Beef for Christmas rather than Turkey and I don't mind that because I often go out to meals and get-togethers before the big day and get my fill of Turkey. After that my brother turned up with his two kids and it was time for the present opening side of things. I got to open LOADS of presents this year! If you remember, I bought 15 presents to open at my favourite Christmas fair in November. I got some great things including a leather journal and bath stuff set in a nice white box, masses of chocolate of various shapes and sizes, soaps, fragrances and even a lovely Christmas tablecloth!
Things were to get very emotional though when I opened some gifts from friends...
My friends, Sally & Ro got me a lovely, Christmas replica of one of those old candle holders (with a candle) from the era when Scrooge was invented. It has a flickering yellow light for the flame of the candle and is the kind of thing I would have instantly bought myself had I known about its existence. Something like that is simply the PERFECT present and I will cherish it for years! I even deliberately turned out all of the lights in the house and used it to walk up the stairs to my bedroom tonight for realism!
Then there was the Christmas stocking I unwrapped from Stephanie, Simon & Solana. Inside a real, woollen Christmas stocking they had put lots of gifts - many individually wrapped and tagged. The stocking was full of traditional things and fun items. There was a tangerine, some nuts, some chocolate tree decorations in the toe, a very patriotic mug and coaster set in the middle and other sweet gifts. I felt overwhelmed opening all of the items and felt like bursting into tears. Oh how I wish now I had taken some pictures or footage of the stocking BEFORE I started on it. I could seriously kick myself for not doing that now as if I had every time I'd watch the video I would feel loved all over again. I don't get to feel that very often in this world and have difficulty emotionally dealing with it when I do but the pain I feel afterwards is always worth it for the joy feeling loved brings to me.
My friends, Frank & Linda (Bin & Bean) also did something similar only their 'goodies' were housed in a shiny drawstring Christmas carrier bag. They also gave me some fabulous, fun gifts including two lovely chocolate Christmas figures and a special Christmas pen that lights up. Inside the bag they had put four or five Christmas cards - each with a lovely, warm Christmas message...
My friend Jan sent me a 70's pop quiz book along with a lovely message and I shall have loads of fun tackling all of the questions and seeing how many I can get right!
I have to confess that the fact my friends have taken so much trouble to give such thoughtful gifts got all too much for me in the end and while e mailing my thanks to them I had a good cry. Men should never feel bad about having a good bulb. Far better to show your emotions and be real than to hide them and fool nobody that's what I say...
I have also been thinking a lot today of my Nan. My first Christmas without her in my life has ironically been a good one in a lot of ways. I am as scared as hell about the future but I guess I'm no different to many of you in that. Life has been pretty good to me in a lot of ways but as far as relationships it has been cruel. My family and friends are all I have to sustain me here and on days like today I realise more than ever just how much they mean to me.
Thankfully, on the evidence of today, the feeling is mutual...
Merry Christmas xxx
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