'Happy New Year!'

Well, this is going to be my last post for this year. I hope you have had a great Christmas and intend to see the new year in tonight in a fun way. As usual, Christmas Day was for me an essentially quiet day and one spent with just my Mum and Dad but I did get out of the house on the 28th as I was invited to a lovely 'Cheese & Wine Party' at my friend, Kate's house. The pics of me you can see here were taken that night by Kate...

Kate put on a smashing spread of delicious cheeses and 'nibbles' and I met some nice, friendly people - one of whom was even kind enough to give me a lift home afterwards.

That's what Christmas is all about!

Going forwards though I have to say that I fear 2020. My life situation

is not a settled one and I don't know how much longer I will be able to 'live in the little bubble of air' I have at present. I do not see myself working again in any paid capacity now and even when I was at work the most that I ever managed to earn in a year was £15,500. The National Average wage was over £25.000 then and now it stands at £36.000! If I could not afford to live then I certainly won't be able to now! New Years Eve is always an emotive day, which is why the tone of this last post of the year is somewhat 'reflective'. DO look out for friends and neighbours tonight and try to include as many people as you can in your celebrations. We all need some love and support sometimes and New Years Eve can be a difficult hurdle to jump if you are feeling lonely or helpless.

So, what would I wish for in 2020 if I could have my way? Well, on a personal level I would like some security in life and a return to better health. Just to have somewhere to call home that is MINE would be a HUGE relief and a weight off my mind. I think that a lot of the niggling health issues I am having are born out of stress and anxiety about the future as much as the fact that I'm getting old!

For the world in general I would like to see us all 'revert more back to type'. By that I mean be happy to be who we are rather than all try to 'fit in' with this culture or that culture. Whatever country you are in anywhere in the world should reflect that countries personality and culture first and foremost! It's not about being racist or 'against other people' its about 'home being home' and feeling like home! Sure, we all appreciate a kind smile and an invite to someone else's home but I would not dream of re-arranging the furniture or taking down 'offensive paintings' etc when a guest because it is not my place to do so! Let people be free again from all the ridiculous 'catch words' like 'inclusivity', positive discrimination' and 'diversity' and lets all learn to be proud once more to be different and celebrate our differences! Different can be good as well as bad, you know!

Oh well, that's my idea of 'a world in harmony' anyway. GOOD LUCK and GOOD HEALTH for 2020 and as the old carol says 'the fates allowing' I will be back again with more festive blogging next year. xx

'Thank Goodness For Two Lovely Christmassy People!'

I know 2019 has not been the most 'harmonious' year but the level of MISERY and MISERABLE people I have encountered this year has definitely gone up!

I had a smashing time with my old mate, Jeff Belton doing our Christmas Special show on C.H.R. yesterday and went dressed as a Christmas Tree! (lol) Yep, you get the picture a CHRISTMAS TREE!

Jeff, Clyde The Clown and Me

Standing at the end of my street I looked a right festive twit wearing a special Christmas jumper that has tinsel and baubles already attached to it, LARGE green and black Elf 'boots', a Christmas tree hat complete with baubles, sparkly tinsel and with a star on top AND a Christmas stocking dangling down my leg that I had looped through the belt in my trousers!

Now, surely just the thought of seeing someone looking THAT daft makes you smile or laugh, doesn't it? Not most people today though! Only the bus drivers who went past me waved or smiled at me bar one lady who 'couldn't believe her eyes' everyone else either blanked me or drove past unimpressed!

Jeff and Ernie

'Sir Belton' and his good lady wife, Wendy, however LOVED my look and Jeff burst out laughing when he clapped eyes on me waving and wiggling an Elf boot (with bells on the end) at him and Wendy as they drove up the hill! "What have you got on!" He exclaimed when I got into the car!

When we got to the Conquest it was mainly 'more of the same'. Those waiting outside looked as grim as my bank account statement and while no one is likely to be 'bouncing off the walls with joy' at Christmas if they are either in hospital or visiting someone you'd think that the site of Jeff dressed up as Santa and me as a Christmas Tree walking 'casually' past might raise a titter!

But as dear old, Frankie Howerd would say 'not a titter I heard! Not a big titter nor even a little titter - I was well and truly titterless! Ooohhh Missus! (lol)

A festive looking Wogan!

The ladies upstairs in the offices near to the radio station studio though were much more responsive and that at least put us into the right mood to do our show in. You can see a few pics of us 'in action' here including 'Ernie the Elf Belton', who if you remember I got Jeff to adopt live on air last Christmas. I also brought my mate, 'Clyde The Clown' to say hello to the listeners and to give Ernie someone to talk to while me and Jeff did the show...

Three hours on the radio seem to FLY by and as soon as we started it seemed it was time to finish! I am really proud of the selection of music that Jeff and I put together and I think the mixture of well known classic Christmas songs and 'unknown gems' that we played was great! Jeff is always a big supporter of my music as well and he played three or four of the tracks from my festive collection 'A Nod To Mr.Dickens' including everyone's favourite of mine 'The Toy Museum' - twice!

Two Christmas nutters in their element!

I do miss my 'recording career' and the wonderful Mr. Harvey Summers with whom I wrote all of my songs but every time I get a chance like this and I see or hear anyone playing any of my stuff I know that every penny that I spent was well worth the money. Ironically, all of my recordings are likely to become collectible in the future as they are all extremely rare!

Maybe one day if 'my boat comes in' I will see the inside of Broadoak Studios again, who knows?

'A Simple Chatty One!'

Well, I don't know about you but I don't think I have ever seen as wet a Christmas as this one! My friends at Horam who run 'The Steelyards Collective' have seen the little stream that runs through their property become a raging torrent of flood water! All of the lawn and some of their driveway is now under water and yet it STILL keeps raining! I sincerely hope that the wet weather 'gives over' soon else even the house will be under threat...

I'm relaxing today (at last) and listening to one of the best Christmas albums ever recorded - 'Wilde Winter Songbook' by Kim Wilde. I LOVE tracks like 'Hope' and Kim is so obviously a 'Christmas person' that her love of the season, of family and of Christmas comes through in every word she sings. I used to 'have a thing' for Kim when I was a teenager and would still LOVE to meet her!

Funny how Christmas always makes you think about people isn't it? Some are of course sadly missed but others come into what I call the 'Rupert Holmes bracket'. By that I mean that Rupert wrote a song called 'The People That You Never Get To Love' (from the LP 'Partners In Crime') which is about how we all potentially miss out on a lifetimes happiness by either being shy and missing an opportunity or by just missing someone who makes your heart skip a beat in silly ways like she is in the 'up' escalator while you are traveling in the 'down' one!

Two Christmas Trees & Two Santas!

There are a few 'celebrities' I would so dearly love to be able to spend a 'quality hour' with for a chat and a coffee and Kim Wilde is one of them. I'd LOVE to tell her (going red, no doubt!) how I used to gaze lovingly at her photos for ages and how she is the writer of one of the songs I want played at my funeral ('Someday') because I feel it sums my inner self up better than any other song I've ever heard...

If I did have just one precious hour with Kim I would want it to be at Christmas time and in the foyer of the Rendezvous Hotel in Skipton.

The comfy and Christmassy Rendezvous Hotel foyer.

 I LOVED my stay at that hotel whilst visiting my beloved 'Grassington Dickensian Festival' as the owner has a real sense of both 'showbiz' and Christmas. It would be so lovely to sit and talk quietly with Kim about hopes, dreams, fame, family and to swop 'Christmas stories'. Sadly, 'my hour' would be up before I'd know it and I would then leave Kim knowing pretty much that we would never meet again. What special memories I would have to replay EVERY Christmas though, eh? And I'd have the chance to recount the story of 'how I met Kim Wilde' to everyone willing to listen for the rest of my days! (lol)

It's Ho Ho Ho all the way at the Rendezvous Hotel!

So, who would you want to meet if you had just one hour this Christmas? Others I would love to spend some time with would be, Claudia Winkleman and of course my beloved, Marilyn Monroe but purely for an interesting chat I would also love to meet and spend an hour with, Trevor Horn (Buggles), Tony Mansfield (New Musik), Bruce Forsyth, Donny Hathaway & Geoffrey Williams.

As is, I am just going to be thankful this year that a) I have lovely memories of The Rendezvous Hotel, Skipton and b) I have some AMAZING people in my life that I DO know who love me and look out for me. Hopefully, 'I'm worth it' as the ad says!

Finally, I cant end without saying a few words about Harrods. I saw a fascinating documentary on T.V. the other day about Harrods at Christmas and have to say that I was blown away by it for a number of reasons. Sure, Harrods is EXPENSIVE and realistically mainly a 'playground for the mega rich' BUT they really do put the pizzazz into Christmas and do a lot for under privileged kids each year with some of their profits. Old Charlie Dickens would certainly approve of them for that even if some of the obscene amounts of money their customers spend on ridiculous items is harder to justify. At least the store is no 'Scrooge' though and their staff certainly genuinely seem to LOVE working there and care deeply about how Harrods is a British Institution. In these days of failing High Streets everywhere I'm actually very pleased that Harrods is still as profitable and popular as it has always been. I don't mind people making a profit if they do something to the best of their ability, work hard for their customers and genuinely care about others at Christmas. MERRY CHRISTMAS to all at Harrods, all who get a buzz out of shopping there and all who benefit from their charitable acts each Christmas...

'Arts On Prescription Bring Festive Cheer!'

I had a swell time this morning at the Christmas get-together organised by 'Arts On Prescription' in Warrior Square! If you are on your own and are feeling lonely are unemployed and a little lost or suffering with mental heath, anxiety or depression then you should look into joining some of the brilliant 'arty' courses put on by Arts On Prescription next year!

2019 has not been 'all sunshine and roses' for me and I have felt quite down and hopeless at times. Now, I know from experience that when I feel that way it is time to DO SOMETHING different to give my life a fresh perspective. With that in mind I decided to look online to see if I might find anything 'going on' in my local area that might suit me? It wasn't long before I found the Arts On Prescription website www.artsonprescription.org and saw that there was a free 'Creative Writing' session coming up shortly! Well, as writing is 'right up my street' I thought that such a session would be a good way of 'testing the water' in order to see if the whole set up was 'my scene'.

As the old saying goes, 'nothing ventured, nothing gained' and after contacting, Tara Ready - the lady who runs the sessions it wasn't long before I had booked my place on the writing session and had it to look forward to! When you are lonely you need 'something to look forward to' and so its always a good idea to 'line a few things up on the calendar' to keep you going.

Well, the time eventually came for the day of the session and so I went along to see how it went? Tara is lovely, warm, friendly and welcoming and as the session (usually 2 hours long) wore on I began to feel at home and started to get talking to some of the other people there. One really nice chap who is known by the group as 'Jeff' let me into the secret that he is really SANTA and me being a Christmas nut we had a lovely conversation swapping stories about our adventures at Christmas time! I liked 'Jeff' so much in fact that I gave him a complimentary copy of my 'Timeless' CD and told him to 'have a listen to 'The Toy Museum' as being Santa I thought he'd appreciate it.

Well, I'm glad to say that 'Jeff' did have a listen to my album. Better still he told me today that he really liked it! He also proved that he really IS Santa - turning up (as you can see here) in full robes and boots! I happened to go as an Elf 'for a bit of jolly' and one of the ladies present ( THANK YOU, Mandy!) thought we looked like a team and took the photo you see here! Santa was in his element throughout the morning telling us all a few festive tales and dishing out presents! I helped him with that to make sure that everyone present got something and both of us joined in with the carol singing  as well - though I think both Santa and I prefer the sound of other voices at this time of year. It's kind of nice to listen to other people singing Christmas carols etc because that way you get a real sense of belonging and feel for a short time at least that you are all 'singing from the same hymn sheet' and celebrating the same thing for once!

Such 'togetherness' is sadly in VERY short reply these days and so Christmas needs to play its part ever more to calm the world down a bit and get us all thinking of others and not just our own needs and wants...

If you are interested in finding our more about Arts On Prescription you can either contact Tara through the website or see your GP and ask to be referred. You don't have to be 'ill' and you can do what I have done and refer yourself so there is no pressure! Go on! Give it a try! No good staring at four walls - I know! (lol)

'Much Merriment At Meet Of The Tongue & The Steelyards Collective'

Things have been pretty full on this last few weeks so apologies for my lack of posts this year. Sadly, much of what I have been up to has had little or nothing to do with Christmas mores the pity other than searching for Christmas presents/writing/delivering/sending cards and the like.

I did manage to get away from the stress for a bit though last Sunday at a 'Winter Get Together' at  Horam. Jane and Keith Trott have a lovely home there with plenty of grounds and a nice, warm stone barn that is ideal for Storytelling/Poetry & Song evenings. Jane is a 'creative sort' who writes a lot of poetry and Keith loves his old Penny Farthing bicycles and loves to listen (as well as ably preparing the mid-interval refreshments) so its always nice to see them both and feel 'part of something', you know?

Jane Trott (left) and Yvonne Rees

Yvonne Rees, who was given the task of hosting the dual event, is another well-known local Poet and Artist and is always good for a giggle with her witty, observational poetry. As for the other 'acts' well, that's where you and I come in! Both The Steelyards Collective and Meet Of The Tongue are rather like old time family Christmas gatherings because the idea behind both is that people meet up for an evening and provide their own entertainment - taking it in turn to sing/read/perform their work or just listen to others or maybe provide a bit of something by someone who has inspired them. It never really matters who does what because we ALWAYS have a good time and each others company no matter what!

Wendy is all smiles telling her tale!

I chose to read out a Christmas story of mine called 'The Cellar Door'. It was written more with children in mind but seeing as some of the pieces before it had been a little 'dark' in theme for the time of year I thought it might help to re-connect people with the wonder of Christmas that only kids really ever feel. It is such a shame as we grow older that we seem to lose the ability to get excited 'wide-eyed and open mouthed' about anything and I love thinking back to when I was small and how even the simplest thing then seemed to have a sprinkle of magic about it when it was associated with Santa, Tinsel and twinkling fairy lights... 

Lorne plays Christmas Carols on his flute.

What made this particular afternoon so nice was the fact that, due to one thing and another, both 'Meet Of The Tongue' and 'The Steelyards Collective' have not been able to hold their usual regular monthly meetings for a few months this year. Seeing everyone again and feeling the sense of community that these meetings help to re-instate in todays rather isolating society was really nice and I even 'threw in' a little 'surprise' for hosts, Jane and Yvonne at the end of the evening to make everyone smile!

I don't want to say too much more about that here because I am hoping to repeat the feat when doing my Christmas Radio show with, Jeff Belton next Monday! Yes, folks! The 23rd is only 6 days away now!

If you think you would like the kind of traditional evening that I talk about here why not come along to one of either 'Meet of the Tongue' or 'The Steelyards Collective' (hopefully) monthly meetings in 2020? You will be ever so welcome and it does not matter a jot if all you want to do is sit at the back and listen - ears are as welcome as voices! You can see photos of some of the 'performers' and performances here...

'A Lovely Day In Dickensian Rochester'

I had a great time yesterday during my visit to the Dickensian Festival in Rochester!

Thanks to the SUPERB Clive Richardson Coach Tours I found myself effortlessly 'whisked away' to a town with a great many connection to, Charles Dickens and the books he wrote.

If you've not been before the great thing about the festival is that the High Street in Rochester is pretty much the only main street in the town centre so anything and everything that happens during the day is in relatively easy reach from there. There is so much to do and take part in throughout the day once you are there! As well as the usual street performers & characters dressed in Dickensian costumes to meet, greet and have a photo taken with there are processions, stall holders, carol singing sessions, craft fairs a LOVELY fair ground full of fun AND 'oddities' like an ice sculpting demonstration, the chance to try your hand at bell ringing and the odd impromptu theatre re-inaction of 'A Christmas Carol' which also calls for a lot of audience participation! That's without the usual array of interesting 'curiosity' shops, museums and Churches to explore.

I got a VERY 'warm glow' whilst visiting a craft fair that was being held in (hilariously) a 'Gentleman's Night Club' (not sure what either Santa or Charles Dickens would make of that!) that was very sparkly and (ironically) Christmassy when I found just the right Christmas Present for a special friend! The lady who sold it to me was lovely and even modelled the item for me. We got on very well and she told me that she had imported the item from Dubai after holidaying there. I asked her if she liked poetry? To which she said enthusiastically that she was and was a 'creative sort'. Because it is Christmas and I liked her I then offered her a free copy of my 'In Words, In Music...Of Life, Of Death' CD. She was very surprised at this but accepted gratefully (she hasn't heard it yet! - I hear you, Ro Gardner! (lol) and we then shared a few more words. She told me that my lovely gesture was very kind and helped make up for the fact that she was actually having to sell the items I had bought one off at a loss. I'm so glad that we shared a few 'nice moments' together and I hope she enjoys at least some of my CD. I did explain a bit about a couple of the tracks because I recorded a tribute to Top Of The Pops on that Cd on which I (unfortunately as it later turned out) do a Jimmy Savile impression on! Trust me to record a 'tribute' to an iconic character who turns out to be a vile 'wrong un'! I won't forget that lady and I really hope that she had a good day at the craft fair and made a lot of money...

Scrooge is that way, I shouted! (lol)

What made going with Clive so brilliant is that we had plenty of time (about 5 hours) to be able to take our time looking around the shops, taking part in the carol singing or just soaking up the atmosphere! I hate it when you go on a Coach trip to something special and then all you have is 2 hours to 'whip round it'. Christmas is such a 'stressy' time anyway that its great when you can just 'chill' and 'watch the world go by' if you want to for a bit. I met a few nice ladies at the Carol singing session in front of Rochester Castle and even took the mic and told the crowd my 'heartwarming Christmas story' of the day I dressed up in full Santa Claus outfit (boots, bells, sack of presents, bear, bell - you name it!) and was then subsequently LET DOWN by a friend who'd promised to give me a lift to my 'newly joined' writing clubs Christmas do. Did I get a taxi? NO! I walked the mile and a quarter from my house to hilarious effect! (lol)

That was a 'long time ago' now and it's been a while since I have 'sprung' one of my festive tricks on the universe but I'm planning one for my old mate, Mr.Belton and all at The Conquest Hospital come our radio show on the 23rd!!! HA HA HA

Back to Rochester though and I have to say that the most magical part for me of the day was when I visited the huge craft fair and fairground situated in the middle of Rochester Castle! Once the light began to dim and the thousands of fairy lights and fairground ride bulbs could be seen in their full glory it was just like taking a trip back in time to my childhood!

Spinning Magic!

Standing in front of one of the loveliest of old Traction engine powered Carousel rides I was simply in heaven seeing the Carousel spin, the fairground music blaring out and breathing in that distinctive white smoke that blooms out of the top of a Traction Engine chimney along with a 'toot toot' of its whistle when its at full power! I could have stood there like a little boy for hours had I the time just watching the Mum's and Dad's take the kids for rides on it! So many HAPPY faces, giggles and pointing and bobble hats 'rushing past in a blur' to enjoy! I shall never forget how full of love my heart felt for those three or more minutes, I can tell you!

As much fun as I had though, not all of the things I saw and witnessed in Rochester made me happy. There were quite a few homeless people about and many looked so down trodden and ignored that I could hardly bear to look at them. Charles Dickens would be gutted I feel to think how, all these many years later, there are STILL people living in such a way in our country. Shamefully, the pain of engaging with these poor souls frightens the hell out of most of us and so - as thousands (for it was pretty packed) passed them by few took any notice of them. I also noted one or two 'dodgy characters' hanging around - probably looking to pick-pockets. I would not say that they were homeless but instead seemed to trying hard to dress as if they were. How rotten can you get to not only pick a persons pocket but in the same breathe try to blame it on a homeless person? Then there was a certain amount of 'disturbing graffiti' about the place. Rochester is so old fashioned and historic that to see horrid graffiti daubed about the place was deeply upsetting - especially as some of it was political and  so one- sided in its view. Councils everywhere need to do more to clamp down on Graffiti and see that it is REMOVED as quickly as possible because there is nothing more unwelcoming for a visitor to see vile, biased slogans written on walls and (in one or two cases) left to stand on raised banners.

Overall though, if Charles Dickens and the story of 'A Christmas Carol' is your thing then you should definitely make sure to visit the Rochester Dickensian Festival at least once in your life. It does get a bit too busy at times during the day and I did find it hard to find a reasonably priced place to get something to eat but the spirit of Dickens, of Bob Cratchit - and occasionally of Scrooge seeps out of every pore at this time of year and helps to bring the true meaning of Christmas to life...

'The Christmas Spirit Still Lives On, Robbie Williams & A Radio Show Not To Miss!'

Well, we are already now towards the end of the first week of December and Christmas fast approaches. I've not quite been 'on form' this year so far as the festive spirit is concerned but have not given up on getting 'that special starry eyed glow' this year just yet!

I have had first-hand experience this last week though of people being both 'naughty' and 'nice', which has been both disheartening and heart-warming. Thankfully, I have seen more GOOD than BAD and been humbled and encouraged by the kindnesses that one or two people have shown me lately. One person I know found £5 but insisted I have it as 'my need was greater than his'. I didn't know what to say but accepted in good grace as the offer was so lovely and genuinely meant that it would have been almost cruel to say no...

Now,  if there is one thing in this world with a longer memory than an Elephant (or my incredible mate, 'Autograph Keith!') it is a 'punter'. and as a perpetual non-starter in the 'winning' stakes I remember 'nice' things long term because they mean a lot to me so I hope one day my chance to be kind to this generous soul will come along...

Another person treated me to a taxi ride following a lovely morning of chat and fun and tomorrow I am off on a coach trip to see the Rochester Dickensian Festival thanks to another good friend. I might be unlucky in love and other areas but I am most certainly fortune to be surrounded by such good, kind and thoughtful people - and that feels really special at this time of year especially...

Right! Next I want to draw your attention to the event above! Yes folks, me and my old mate, Jeff Belton are returning to the airwaves to bring lots of fun, laughter, silliness and GREAT music to your home this Christmas! If you go to the Conquest Hospital Radio website here: https://conquesthospitalradio.co.uk you can listen in online for FREE - and we won't charge you either! (lol)

The show is going to be a BLAST and 'Sir Jeffrey' and I have been 'up to our tricks' already recording a special festive play to make you giggle we've written. Daft doesn't come close and as for the Acting skills? Well, you can turn off your house fans because the breeze coming from Sir Lawrence Olivier's grave is incredible! (lol) You will LOVE the characters - their changing accents and their laughs! (lol)
Oh yes, if 'sanity really isn't your thing' then tune in online on MONDAY 23RD DEC from 9AM -12 MIDDAY!

Finally, I have to say that I am LOVING listening to the new ROBBIE WILLIAMS Christmas Album - 'The Christmas Present' at the moment! Williams is a great lyricist and WAY more than just a 'cheeky, good looking bloke with tattoos that used to be in Take That'. The album is split into two sections - The Past and The Present and both are fab! Whatever you do make sure you get a listen to his 'Swingin' take on the Slade classic, 'Merry Christmas Everybody' - only Robbie could pull that off!

Oh well, toodle pip for now! I hope your Christmas shopping is going well and I'll be back with more soon! Have fun!