'A Merry Christmas To All!'

Well folks, today is the day! I've just this minute got in from my around the world trip delivering your presents and feel very happy and contented with my nights work! The weather was quite nice this year and so the sleigh wasn't subject to a great deal of turbulence. No pesky 'drone' can get up high enough to interfere with my global tracking system either so Rudolph and the other reindeers don't have that problem to content with!

My host yesterday, D.J. Jeff Belton

I tell you what it gets VERY tiring being Santa in this modern age though? We didn't have all this 'blogging lark' when I first started and sometimes I feel a bit like The Queen having to write something meaningful, festive and jolly each year on here for you all to read on Christmas morning!

Still, being Santa does have its benefits! I don't have to buy a single mince pie all the year round because I collect so many on Christmas Eve  I have a years supply in one night gifted to me! With the weather up here at the north pole as cold and chilly as it is I don't need a fridge either - I just 'do a squirrel job' and bury mince pies out in the snow all around my cottage. I don't always manage to find all of them again but the Reindeer love them (though I don't want them getting so fat that they can't fly!) and 'Mrs Christmas' is always on to me about 'that stomach of yours'!

I have literally WAREHOUSES full of Sherry and Carrots as well thanks to all of you. My magic dust helps me to shrink them to such a tiny size that I can fit them into just one sack on the sleigh Christmas Eve, which is very handy, I can tell you! I do eat some of the things you leave out for me though on the night. Delivering Christmas presents at breakneck speed is hard work you know and even a man with 'a weight problem and no chance of joining his local weight watchers group' like me needs something to keep him going! A Mrs. Jones from Carshalton, in Surrey U.K. always leaves me a WONDERFUL spread of stuff! She bakes it all herself and puts a lot of love and care into it. If its a really cold night she often leaves me a thick, home made scarf and a pair of matching gloves and makes sure that the fire will still be raging in the hearth for when I arrive. I got a 'nasty surprise' the first time she did that because I got in to her house 'the traditional way' down the chimney but now I know what to expect I try to make enough time on my round to stop and enjoy Mrs. Jones 'festive fare' each year.

It's love at first sight for Jeff and Ernie! 

Not that I am into all this new 'gender labelling or NOT labelling' thing but I have to say in fairness that a lot more Men are now becoming great cooks and 'doing right by me' on Christmas Eve. I think the Hairy Bikers have a lot to do with the improvement in their cooking skills as they somehow made riding a BIG motorcycle while 'looking hard' and filling fairy cake cases with a gooey mixture go together. Its good to learn as many skills as you can kids - no knowledge is a waste of time as you never know in this life when or if it will be needed!

Well, its nearly time for me to go (the old eyes are hard to keep open now) but before I do I would like to tell you that I had a WONDERFUL time yesterday morning on the Jeff Belton 'Christmas Jamboree Bag' Christmas show on CHR. I really 'kippered' poor old Jeff with my 'making him a father live on air' ruse and he was TERRIFIED when he first arrived in the car to pick me up that morning(lol). Jeff is always VERY high on my 'nice list' each year though (always has been - good lad!) and so I thought he would see the funny side of my 'little joke'.

Like father, like son!

He did in the end, of course and I am fulfilled in the knowledge now that I have managed to find another loving home for one of my little Elves. 'Ernie The Elf Belton' will watch over Jeff and look after him throughout his lifetime but Jeff has to be a 'good Dad' and care for Ernie as well. That Jeff was teaching Ernie all about broadcasting and giving him lots of cuddles as soon as he saw him tells me that they will be a 'match made in heaven'!

As for the CRAZY, Tony May, well, you will just have to work out for yourselves whether you think this post was really written by him or by me? Won't you?

That 'crazy' Tony May fella - or it it? HA HA

HO HO HO

Love and a Merry Christmas!

Santa Claus xx

P.S.) Mrs. Claus says to tell, Sally Patricia Gardner that though she does all of the cooking in our household she's quite happy to do so as I can't cook and she is hopeless with a hammer and chisel - unless I've upset her, of course! xx