'An Emotional Day'

Things never work out as you think they are going to in life, do they? As I posted earlier, today looked like being a VERY quiet Christmas Day indoors with just me and my Mum and Dad but it did not turn out like that!

No, in the end I received a phone call mid morning from my friend, Robert. He had not heard from me for a while and had not received my usual card so rang to see how I was. Now, as you all know, I have not been 'at the races' with Christmas this year and have had difficulty focusing so I had not sent him a card nor even bought him a present yet!

Robert is a good friend, however, and knows me of old. We may be totally different people but he does his best to understand my 'fevered brain'. Before I knew it I had been invited to his house for lunch! This was a most welcome offer as Mum was not cooking anything much today having made the effort to do a lovely dinner yesterday. For her to have 'one less to worry about' was thus going to be good. Mind you, my brother, Geoff, had changed his mind about coming today as well so I needed to be back home by early evening to meet him and his kids, Sam & Sophie for the VERY unceremonious present opening session!

Amazingly, on the way around to Roberts I spotted a £5 note laying in amongst a pile of leaves! That was a nice Christmas bonus! What filled me with even more joy though was that the £5 note had a prefix that started with the letters AL. I could not help laughing out loud when I spotted that and looked up to the heavens and thanked my old mate, Alan Gaywood, for the fiver from beyond the grave! I know its crazy, but I choose to believe that there is no such thing sometimes as a coincidence and today was one of those occasions. It would be typical of Al to give me his last £5...

After a really festive Christmas lunch with Robert (who is not normally much of a one for 'the c word') and having watched The Queen's speech to the nation on the telly it was time to return home. Oddly, I felt rather flat for a while when I got back so decided to have a bath and freshen myself up a bit. A good old soak often helps if you are feeling a bit down...

As soon as I wanted to have my bath my brother turned up with the kids but they were staying a while so I carried on with my previous plans.

Sophie opens one of her presents from me..

When it came to finding the presents I had got for the family I had a bit of a job. Space is at an absolute premium in our house these days and I could not find some of the cards I had written! In the end I had to either give up on them or write a few new ones but poor old Mum missed out because I had used up all my spare cards doing 'Operation Spread Christmas Spirit' yesterday!

Anyway, in the end the present giving session went off quite well and I did manage to get a few nice family photos (as you can see) to share with our Australian side of the family in Victoria. Sam did not even know about them so I spent a while telling him all about them and how we are related. Good job Trevor & Lesley are as family orientated as I am down under! If It wasn't for Trevor and I using Ancestry.com a while back the two sides of the family would not know anything at all about each other!

Dad, Mum and my brother, Geoff.

Lesley & Trevor May from Victoria in Aus

Sam (my brother's boy) is all smiles!

Once my brother and the kids had gone I set about opening my presents! My mystery benefactor's purple box turned out to be a battery operated Christmas Train set! Ideal for a 51, nearly 52, year old kid! HA HA HA I also got a pair of Elves slippers with bells on from my friends, Sally & Ro and loads of thoughtful gifts all individually wrapped up from Stephanie, Simon and Solana!

Prezzies from Stephanie, Simon & Solana

Jan sent me a poetry book from Oswestry and Bin & Bean Kennedy a swanky new writing book with a magnetic cover - I even got a Balloon Modelling Kit from Martin & Vanessa - all good fun stuff!

Lastly, I set about opening my Christmas gifts from the St Clement's Church Christmas Fair. I got some LOVELY fragrancies including a TED BAKER one (not bad for a £1, eh?), a LONG Toblerone to look forward to polishing off and  a Star Wars Sticker Set! HA HA The most odd gift of all though was a tin of pilchards! I know its Hastings Old Town guys but, really! For Christmas???

So, there you have it, my Christmas Day in a nutshell. A lot more eventful and emotional than I had expected and bargained for. I still miss my old buddy, Al and will be glad now in a way when I see 2017 on the calendar rather than 2016 but Christmas does at least make you aware of what you STILL have for now and that sometimes is just enough...

'You Can't Take Christmas Away From Me'

Well folks, here it is! My Christmas video single for 2017.

It's an unusual kind of Christmas song in the respect that it is a sad one but the words in the chorus are positive and the tone of the whole thing is defiant - especially highlighted by the military drumming...

The song is dedicated to the two GREAT friends I have lost this year, Noreen Leach and Alan Gaywood and was inspired by Alan's total failure to know when he was beaten in life. Al suffered with epilepsy all of his life and was not expected to reach adulthood but in spite of everything he reached 50 and was self employed for most of his life. He was never a rich man nor was he lucky in love (because of his epilepsy) but he was ALWAYS a fighter and a very, very good friend to me. I miss him terribly and always will but no way will I let that stop me from remembering him!

This song is therefore a song about loss and how precious life truly is. There are no guarantees and things can change in a moment but what you have to do is appreciate what you have while you still have it and refuse to let sadness destroy you. In a way this song is like a 'Punk Anthem' to the universe in the respect that it is my way of sticking two fingers up to life and saying 'Screw you, I'm NOT going to let you spoil my Christmas'..

Alan and Noreen ( and all the others I have lost over the years) would want me to be happy this Christmas and I am going to be - for them if nothing else!!

The music here was composed by the VERY brilliant Mr. Harvey Summers (check out his GREAT new album 'Human' with Laura Cole) who continues to be an inspirational influence on me as well as another valued friend. Thanks mate for caring enough to make this one special.

Love to you all, be safe and HAPPY and have a MERRY CHRISTMAS xx

P.S.) I would also like to dedicate this song to my friend DALE SMITH in Michigan, U.S.A. who lost his mum this year. I'm thinking of you buddy - god bless...

'Here We Go Again!'

Hi everyone! I hope that this post finds you in good health and in during a good time in your life. 2016 has been a VERY emotional year for me as I have very sadly lost two friends of long-standing this year.

Noreen at home on her 90'th Birthday

My friend, Noreen Leach died on April the 9th aged 98. Noreen was kind of a 'substitute Gran' to me and I kind of 'adopted' her when my real Gran died in the 1980's. I spend the next 30 years or so visiting Noreen at her home in Old Church Rd, Hollington and used to make a big effort each year to decorate her house with Christmas decorations and lights as if it were my house. Noreen used to love it and because I have never had a home of my own so did I. We used to spend many a Christmas sitting in her front room with the lights twinkling away just talking and sipping a Sherry. It was all old fashioned and traditional and made both of us feel happy. Sadly, due to her age, Noreen had to go into a nursing home for the last five or so years of her life and so both of us missed out on the enjoyment all my efforts and each others company provided towards the end...

You can see a brief video of Noreen and I at Christmas' here. Lots of happy, innocent memories! I think Noreen used to like to think of me as her 'toy boy' sometimes but she was always just a special friend to me...
Losing her I have also lost any connection with the rest of her family. They were very tolerant and understanding including me in their plans for Noreen's sake but I guess they would not be human if they did not wonder about my motives as a young man hanging about with a much older lady and I kind of knew at her funeral that I was once again 'an outsider' and not a member of the family, you know? Still, I loved Noreen and had many happy times with her and all of them. I have never been interested in money (other than it can make things possible that cannot be without it) and would always choose having someone in my life to having their money or possessions...

To try and make it easier to write this difficult first post I'm listening to something suitably old
fashioned in the shape of Ray Anthony! Yes, I bought up a load of Christmas CD's earlier in the year and quite a few of them are old orchestral, waltz style CD's. I think I would have loved the romantic era of ballroom dancing! I know I certainly found a lot of the ladies at the 'War & Peace Revival' I went to a few years ago much more attractive in their frilly skirts and cute hats than I do todays 'bovver boot' tattoo's and trousers lot! Sexist? Well, maybe but I guess I just love the illusion of a pretty lady dressing to look feminine and sweet...

The second person to have died on me this year was also a friend of mine for over 30 years. Alan Gaywood was about as far removed from the 'flash harry' and 'egotistical twit' that I am as you could meet. Alan was a true 'rock' and I saw him once a week almost every week for 30 odd years. He died very suddenly from an epileptic attack on July 1st and I am still struggling to get over his loss. Having a quiet, loyal and tolerant person like Al in your life one minute and then not the next is a HUGE shock to the system and I have felt a bit 'haunted' by him and memories of him since he died. There seems to be another special memory around every corner, you know?

Alan Gaywood in January This Year

My Christmas video single for Youtube this year 'You Can't Take Christmas Away From Me' was inspired by and written for Alan and I have been recording it over the last couple of months with SUPER Producer Harvey Summers at Broadoak Studios in Little Common. Harvey has done a BRILLIANT job on the song and I am now in need of working on a video for the song to upload to Youtube later this year. Watch this space for more on that as we get closer to the big day!

Well, that's my news. Sorry, it's not more upbeat but I promise not to depress you all with too much misery in the run up to Christmas so don't worry!